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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24743716">Saving Jaime Lannister</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/tuliptoes/pseuds/tuliptoes'>tuliptoes</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>A Song of Ice and Fire &amp; Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, F/M, Fantasy elements, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slow Burn, Therapy, There are four scenes of violence, better safe than sorry, wasn't sure if it qualified for the tag</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 04:21:50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>26,800</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24743716</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/tuliptoes/pseuds/tuliptoes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <a href="https://imgur.com/HjDD8BX">
    
  </a>
</p><p> </p><p>Brienne is hiking in the Godswood Forest and hears a voice in her head:</p><p>Find Jaime Lannister<br/>Find him. Save him.</p><p>Update: Thank you to Ro_Nordmann for my beautiful cover!!!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth, Sansa Stark/Margaery Tyrell</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>169</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>190</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Brienne gets a mysterious message from a voice in the woods:</p><p>Find Jaime Lannister<br/>Find him<br/>Save him</p><p>How is she supposed to do that? The voice does not say.</p><p>Typical.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Welcome to my fic!</p><p>This is a first for me in this fandom, an original, non-adaptation story.</p><p>As I said in the tags, there are four scenes of violence, and I'll tag the chapters when those come up; I wavered on whether or not to include the content warning, but I do think it's better to be safe than sorry.</p><p>And as for that, there is a disturbing dream sequence in this chapter, look out for the italics</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Brienne Tarth drove her walking stick into the ground and took a deep breath.</p>
<p>
  <em> Yes, this is what I’ve been missing. </em>
</p>
<p>It was her first long weekend off in months, and she’d driven 200 hundred miles north to go walking through the Godswood Forest.</p>
<p>She had almost canceled the trip, despite having already paid for the hiking permit. Work had been especially hard at the diner these last few weeks, and because of some people leaving, she’d had only a handful of days off.</p>
<p>She needed the money, but she was exhausted, and she was so, so close to just staying at home and loafing on her couch for five days straight.</p>
<p>But, when she’d left work on her last shift, she saw the look in her boss’ eye. Mr. Tarly didn’t like her, but he couldn’t deny she was good at what she did, and waitressing may be a nothing job, but she did it better than anyone else on staff, and he knew it. She also knew that he wouldn’t hesitate to ask her to come to work, even after requesting the weekend off.</p>
<p>So she packed up her car and headed north, out of reach of everyone and everything.</p>
<p>She breathed in again, feeling the crisp forest air invade her lungs, and she smiled, near tears, so happy that she had come.</p>
<p>
  <span>She missed the beaches on the small island where she’d grown up, the sound of the waves, even the slightly rotten smell of fish on hot days. She loved King’s Landing, she had made a life for herself, with a (shitty) job and new friends, but there was something special about being alone in nature that she could not replicate in the city.</span>
</p>
<p>Sometimes you just needed to put everything you loved aside and be alone with only the sunshine for company.</p>
<p>Brienne yanked up her walking stick, took two steps along the trail, when she heard it.</p>
<p>
  <em> Find him. Save him. </em>
</p>
<p>She looked around her, but there was no one nearby, no one who could have whispered those words into her head.</p>
<p>
  <em> Find him. Save him. </em>
</p>
<p>She tried to get her feet up, tried to get them to move, but they were stuck in place, nearly glued to the ground.</p>
<p>Her head started to pound as an image flashed in her mind, a golden man with a cruel smile and the face of a god. </p>
<p>
  <em> Find Jaime Lannister. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Find him. Save him. </em>
</p>
<p>She saw one more image, a tree with the face of a man, crying red tears, begging for her help. </p>
<p>“Yes,” she whispered.</p>
<p>Her walking stick did not help her as she collapsed in the dirt, scuffing her knees and hands. </p>
<p>
  <em> Find him. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Save him. </em>
</p>
<p>And then her mind was clear once again.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>In the early morning fog, it had been easy to say yes to the voice in her head, to let the spooky setting force her mind into believing a tree commanded her to save a stranger.</p>
<p>But after she had cleaned herself up (Brienne never went anywhere without her first aid kit), she kept walking, kept waiting for that voice again, but it was silent.</p>
<p>As it should be. Her mind was for her alone.</p>
<p>In her apartment, she looked at the cream colored walls, felt the artificial breeze from her ceiling fan, she listened to Sansa's giggles as she and Margaery cuddled in bed (the walls in their apartment were entirely too thin), and she decided that it was just a dream.</p>
<p>
  <em> Yes, just a bit of whimsy. I am a sensible, reasonable person, I don't hear voices. The end. </em>
</p>
<p>That's what she told herself as she drifted off to sleep. That's what she clung to as her nightmare began.</p>
<p>
  <em> A man was hanging from the ceiling, his left wrist handcuffed to a beam, the wrist broken and bloody with the weight of him resting in it. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Brienne looked at her hands, red flakes were under her fingernails, her clothes stuck to her body as the red blood clung to her. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> She looked up again and the man smiled at her, his mouth filled with blood where his teeth should be. He grinned, a mad, vile grin as his arm came up and pointed at her. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> "You did this," he growled. "You killed me."  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> His laughter bounced off the red-stained walls, that hollow, empty laugh pierced her mind like a sharp sword and she screamed … </em>
</p>
<p>"Brienne!"</p>
<p>Her eyes flew open as she felt Sansa shake her. She heard her name again as she tried to calm herself, tried to slow her breathing and the rapid pace of her heartbeat.</p>
<p>She sat up and looked away from the concerned face of her friend.</p>
<p>"You were screaming."</p>
<p>Sansa looked pale, and Brienne's first thought was to reach for her, to comfort her, but the memory of the man smiling, shrieking at her, blaming her for his fate sent a shudder through her whole body.</p>
<p>She stood up, too fast, and she wobbled a little as she walked to the kitchen and got herself a glass of water. Sansa followed her, still looking at her with her pale face and wide, concerned eyes.</p>
<p>Brienne plastered a smile on her face, and looked at her friend while reaching for her shoulder.</p>
<p>"It was a bad dream, but I'm alright," Brienne said. "Go back to sleep."</p>
<p>Brienne's hand shook a bit as she set the glass on the counter, but she hoped Sansa didn't notice. "I'm fine, just a little shaken."</p>
<p>Sansa nodded. "Ok. You'd tell me if something was wrong though, right?"</p>
<p>Brienne smiled at her again, a real one this time. Sansa would come to her with every complaint and every problem, needing a shoulder to cry on after a spat with Margaery or harsh words from her family, but she was always willing to listen to Brienne too. More than once it had been Sansa stroking Brienne's hair as she cried into her lap about something awful.</p>
<p>"Of course. Goodnight Sansa. Tell Margaery I'm sorry."</p>
<p>Sansa giggled. "She's asleep. Didn't hear a thing, she sleeps like the dead."</p>
<p>Sansa left as Brienne finished her drink alone. She shook her head, trying to shake those images out of her mind, but she knew it was hopeless. Just as she knew that that voice had been real, she knew the dead man in her dream was the man she was supposed to save.</p>
<p>
  <em> Find him. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Save him. </em>
</p>
<p>She turned off the kitchen light and walked back to her room. She looked at her bed, and a shudder went through her. Her bed, her room felt infected, like whatever was behind that dream would devour her if she stayed here even one more minute. She grabbed her blanket and retreated to the living room couch instead.</p>
<p>She laid in the dark, trying to quiet her mind, seeing him dying in her head over and over, and the empty look in his eyes as he blamed her for his suffering.</p>
<p>
  <em> Save him from what? </em>
</p>
<p>She drifted off to sleep as the sun rose, with no answer in sight.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Finding Jaime Lannister was easy.</p>
<p>The Lannister clan was everywhere. They had an old name and even older money, and they found it imperative that the entire world know about both their name and their money. Every building, every company, every bench they owned had their name on it, embossed and blood red.</p>
<p>In the middle of King’s Landing stood The Rock, a building taller than every other structure in the city, black and red, like it was the vengeful, burning heart of the ancient city. It was impossible to look at that unholy structure (there were rumours it was built over the ashes of a sept) and not wonder about the family that would choose to live there.</p>
<p>And they all choose to live there.</p>
<p>Brienne looked up at the building, then looked at the surly looking doorman, and she knew she’d never be let in.</p>
<p>
  <em> But I’m on a mission, a tree told me I had to save you! </em>
</p>
<p>She laughed to herself at the image of herself being hauled away in a straight jacket, screaming about the tree man.</p>
<p>But the laughter died as the front doors opened, and there he was, Jaime Lannister, who walked next to his twin and his father, with no idea of the danger that was ahead of him.</p>
<p>
  <em> Not like I know any better </em>
</p>
<p>Brienne watched them from the cafe across the street. The twins were laughing, their golden hair swaying in the breeze, hers shifting behind her almost like a cape, his hair was much shorter and closer to his neck, giving him a disheveled look, like he’d just stepped off his yacht. </p>
<p>Their father just scowled at them as they waited for the car to pull up, and the three of them climbed in. </p>
<p>
  <em> Was this it? </em>
</p>
<p>She nearly expected Jaime to look at her, to see her watching him, but of course he didn’t. He just slammed the door and the car drove away from her.</p>
<p>
  <em> I have a job, I have hobbies, I have a life, what am I doing, stalking some rich prick who can afford all the bodyguards he needs? </em>
</p>
<p>Her head twinged at the thoughts, pulsed with the image of him dying in front of her.</p>
<p>"It was just a joke, tree man," she muttered to herself. She thought she heard a small laugh, but she dismissed it. It was no good going down that path.</p>
<p>Brienne sipped her coffee, and made a face, the once hot drink had gone cold and bitter as she sat and watched. She looked at her watch, and voice or not, if she didn't leave now she would be late for work and her bastard boss never missed an excuse to yell at her.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Brienne saves Jaime</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>CW: This chapter does contain some violence in it.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Brienne watched the family in front of her and felt her eyes glaze over. She tried to focus on what they were saying, tried to answer their questions, but the words couldn't come together in her head.</p>
<p>"Excuse me," she whispered, cutting the father off, but he only looked concerned as she turned from him, rubbing her temples, trying to soothe the ache inside her skull.</p>
<p>She pulled up short in front of Mr. Tarly, and she couldn't hear his words, but she saw the contempt on his face as he looked up at her. That's when she knew it had gone wrong for her when they first met; he always wanted to be the one looking down on people.</p>
<p>He was talking and she could not hear him, her head was too fuzzy, and her stomach started to roil. She took a step back from him, and he finally stopped talking as she leaned over and vomited on his feet.</p>
<p>Her head ached, her body felt like it was dying, but she took a second to smile at his shoes, probably ruined forever, before she stood back up. He glared at her, this weak, small man looked at her with nothing but loathing.</p>
<p>"Go home," he said, keeping his voice civil so no one else would hear what he really wanted to say. "Come back when you're better."</p>
<p>He gave her one final look of disgust, then walked away. Brienne left quickly, her head still pounding, and grabbed her bag and practically ran outside the diner to her bus stop.</p>
<p>She sat on the bench, and let two tears fall before she sucked them back in. </p>
<p>This wasn't what her life was supposed to be. Her mother had died birthing her, and her brother had died young, far too young, but she'd had her dad, the only person in the world who'd loved her. Their name was old, and they were never wealthy, but they had each other and that had been enough. </p>
<p>It was more than enough, Brienne realized now, knew everyday what she had had when her father was alive. The cancer had been swift and merciless, and he'd given her what he had left, but it wasn't enough, nothing would have been enough without him.</p>
<p>At 18, she was an orphan who had to sell her father's house, the house she grew up in, to pay off his debts. She had a trust, a small one, not even enough to cover tuition at a public university.</p>
<p>So she worked this job with a boss who hated her, but the money was enough to live on, if you lived meagerly, which she did. And she could watch her trust grow slowly with the rent money Sansa paid her, knowing it would be there, school would be there when she was ready for her life to begin.</p>
<p>And she let the tears fall, let out the self pity and the grief for two minutes, but that was all. She would feel, but she would not wallow. That's not what Tarths did.</p>
<p>Her headache spiked, sending another wave of nausea through her, but at least now her stomach was empty. She took a sip of water, and heard it again.</p>
<p>
  <em> Find him. Save him. </em>
</p>
<p>Like a light switch, her nausea went away and her head cleared. She took a deep breath, and her lungs felt fine, invigorated even, like she could run a 10k race right now, and she'd beat her best time by an hour.</p>
<p>
  <em> Find him. </em>
</p>
<p>The door to the diner opened and Podrick came out. He was a shy busboy, young too, even younger than Sansa who was just 20. But he liked her, and Brienne knew immediately that he was a boy who needed looking after, and well, she was never one to turn away someone who needed help.</p>
<p>"Are you OK?" he asked her, with only a slight stutter this time.</p>
<p>She smiled at him and nodded. "Just a stomach bug."</p>
<p>
  <em> Save him </em>
</p>
<p>The voice was louder now, almost echoing through her skull, and she looked at Podrick, his concern for her all over his face.</p>
<p>"Podrick, I need a favor," she said, hating herself for it but she knew, she knew it had to be this way.</p>
<p>"Anything."</p>
<p>She paused but just for a second. "I need to borrow your car."</p>
<p>Without a second thought, he threw her his keys. "I'm off in three hours, have it back by then."</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Tonight, The Rock was empty. No surly doorman, no gateman checking badges when she pulled into the parking garage, not a soul around.</p>
<p>Brienne shivered as she walked up the stairs, some string pulling her forward, the same string that pressed her into service was now telling her where to go. Brienne hoped she wasn't too late, hoped that he was still alive.</p>
<p>
  <em> Of course he's still alive. The tree man wouldn't care otherwise. </em>
</p>
<p>She felt a hint of her earlier nausea return, but she brushed it aside. She climbed and climbed, seeing and hearing no one, until she reached the tenth floor.</p>
<p>She took a step up to the next floor and froze as she heard a muffled scream from behind the door. It was soft, an almost delicate sound this far away, but she knew that sound, knew that it masked something far more brutal, far more terrifying than she could hear.</p>
<p>She swallowed back her fear, pushed it back, pushed it down until it was only an annoying buzz in her ear. She gently pulled open the stairwell door, praying that it wouldn't squeak or hiss, but she was blessed, the door was utterly silent.</p>
<p>She crept forward; the lights were mostly out, except for a few desk lamps turned on ahead of her. She dodged desks and chairs as she walked forward; this floor looked like it was mostly used for storage, boxes and furniture were stacked with no real plan, everything just put down where it fit. </p>
<p>She walked around an unstable pile of boxes and saw him. And them.</p>
<p>He was handcuffed to a filing cabinet by his left hand, his wrist bloody and bruised. Brienne winced as she saw his other arm; he was trying to keep his body weight off it, but it was not supposed to be bent that way, his bones were supposed to be inside him.</p>
<p>Out of the shadows, a man came up to Jaime and kicked him in his side, and with his arms both damaged, he couldn't shield the blow, and Brienne heard one of his ribs crack.</p>
<p>
  <em> What do I do, what do I do, what do I do? </em>
</p>
<p>At long last, the tree man was silent, finally leaving the choice up to her at the worst possible time.</p>
<p>She felt in her pocket for her phone, but she remembered, she came straight from work, her work pants had no pockets, and her clothes and bag were downstairs, safely locked up in Podrick's car. She had her hoodie on over her work clothes, but those pockets were empty, of course they were empty.</p>
<p>She looked around, ignoring his weak gasps (<em> he's fading too fast </em>) trying to find anything in this storage area that would let her help him when she saw the bat.</p>
<p>It was metal, lightweight, but painful, so very painful when it hit flesh.</p>
<p>She felt a charge in her hand as she picked it up, and yes, this was here just for her. She saw herself again at 17, taller than everyone else on her softball team, but with a swing that shook fear into the hearts of their opponents. </p>
<p>Big Brienne they called her as a mean joke, until they saw her hit, saw what she could do, and then the nickname became something to treasure, something to scream as the crowds and her team cheered her on.</p>
<p>There were three men keeping him captive, three men who were torturing a man who could not fight back, and she felt a surge of rage in her soul at the injustice these fiends were committing. </p>
<p>
  <em> I'll show them fear. </em>
</p>
<p>Later, she would try to think again of this moment, and the memories wouldn't come. She will try to remember how she did it, how she struck a man down with one blow to the back of the knee, then another to the back of the head, and it will be like picturing a memory of something that happened to someone else.</p>
<p>How else could she explain it? She downed a man who was taller than her, <em> her, </em> in three seconds and she didn't break a sweat. A second man came at her as she looked up and swung a knife at her, and as she dodged, he stumbled over his colleague in crime, and she swung her bat, knocking him out with one shot.</p>
<p>She stepped around them, and the third man charged her, but she swung again, catching him in his crotch in a wild upswing that should not have connected with him at all, but as he collapsed, she swung her bat a final time, sending him to rest without another thought. </p>
<p>That was when she came back to herself, noticed the ache in her arms and the blood on her hands. She threw the bat down, horrified and exhilarated by what she had done because a tree told her too.</p>
<p>
  <em> No, that wasn't why. </em>
</p>
<p>She had come here because the tree demanded it, because he wouldn't let her be unless she did. But this, this is what she did, for the people she loved and the people she didn't. She would have done it, tree man or no tree man, she had no doubt about that. He only told her where to go.</p>
<p>She heard Jaime gasp as he shifted on the floor.</p>
<p>She knelt next to him and patted his hair, her hand coming up sticky with his blood.</p>
<p>"It's ok," she lied. "It will be ok now." She hated lying, even to people she would never see again, but it was a kind lie, a lie he needed to hear.</p>
<p>He tried to move his head to face her, but he just grimaced instead. He spit blood onto the floor, and tilted his head toward his broken arm on the floor.</p>
<p>"Wrist," he said, the words clearly hurting him.</p>
<p>She reached down and delicately felt along his arm in the dim light, holding in her need to vomit at the feel of his broken bones poking through his skin.</p>
<p>On his wrist was a button, a panic button he couldn't reach earlier, and she pressed it, knowing that that would bring all the help he needed.</p>
<p>She patted his head again, trying to soothe him one last time.</p>
<p>"Goodbye," she whispered as she stood up.</p>
<p>She ran to the door, she ran down the stairs, only stopping for a moment to bring her hoodie up over her head. She prayed that whatever magic led her here, and helped her win an impossible fight, would let her escape unnoticed.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>She did not remember getting home. She drove Podrick's car back to him, handing him the keys when he came out for his smoke break. </p>
<p>At some point, she had washed her hands, but she didn't remember where. But it was like one second she was thanking Podrick, and the next she was at home, taking off her clothes to shower.</p>
<p>
  <em> He's found. He's saved. </em>
</p>
<p>She thought she heard a sigh, but it was probably nothing.</p>
<p>Under the hot steam of her shower, she cried for him and his suffering, she cried for what she had done, beating those men who she didn't even know, and she cried for the tree man, because, she reasoned, who else would?</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next chapter, we get to hear from Jaime and how he recovers.</p>
<p>Thank you for the comments!</p>
<p>Come follow me on Tumblr for more Braime fun; I'm albatrossisland.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Three months later</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Three months later</strong>
</p><p>"How are you doing today Mr. Lannister?"</p><p>Jaime looked at Dr. Seaworth and looked away.</p><p>Jaime was angry. He had had a lot of trouble pinning down that that's what he was feeling, but now that he knew, it never really went away.</p><p>He woke up (when he got to sleep), and his anger was there with him in his room, like a childhood nightmare come to life that just wanted to hang out. </p><p>It was with him when he left his apartment, which wasn't often, and it was with him when he stayed inside to avoid any stares or questions. </p><p>He saw pity in people's faces as they saw his arm entirely cased in plaster, and he wanted to hit them. He saw people curious about what had happened to him, as if they hadn't read every detail already, and he wanted to hit them harder.</p><p>His anger was everywhere, it was alive, and it had absolutely nowhere to go, so what was the point of talking about it.</p><p>"Fine," he said, still looking away.</p><p>"Your cast comes off today, are you excited?"</p><p>Jaime shrugged. Yes, the idea of being free of the cast should have been happy, but all he could feel was dread. It was the next step, but his doctors weren't sure how his arm was going to be, how much he could get back, if it would come back at all.</p><p>He shuddered, trying to remember that Dr. Tarly had told him that that was only a worst case scenario. But it was one of a thousand thoughts that kept him awake every night.</p><p>"Sure," he said, with no real feeling in the words.</p><p>Seaworth sighed, and Jaime laughed, he couldn't help himself, even his doctor, a man he paid to care about him, was ready to give up. </p><p>He didn't blame him.</p><p>"Alright," Seaworth said, as Jaime's laughter petered out. "Are you sleeping any better with the new medication?"</p><p>“They work,” Jaime said, and it was true, the meds shut off his brain enough to get some sleep.</p><p>But what he didn’t say was that he had only taken them once, and that they had let him sleep, but the dreams were so terrifying he threw the pills in a draw that he refused to open. </p><p>He couldn’t tell him that he couldn’t sleep without nightmares, and if given the choice, he’d just rather sleep like he has been, 3 or so hours at a time, rather than hear what his brain had to tell him.</p><p>Seaworth gave him a look, a look that said all the words he wasn’t saying, but he didn’t follow up. He let that look be enough and cleared his throat.</p><p>“Any luck finding your mystery woman?”</p><p>Jaime shook his head and scowled again. “It’s like she’s a ghost. There was no footage inside the building, which our former security team assured my father again and again that that wasn’t possible. After she hit my panic button, she ran, and the cameras didn’t come back up until her car was turning down the street, and from there, she was just gone.”</p><p>“Why do you want to find her?” Seaworth asked him.</p><p>“To thank her!” Jaime nearly screamed the words out, his chest rising and falling, the surge of frustration coursing through his veins. He hadn’t seen her, other than a flash of blonde hair, his hair had fallen over his face, sticky with his own blood, and it hurt everywhere to move, he couldn’t see her face, but he saw her move, saw her skill at taking down those monsters disguised as men. </p><p>And he couldn’t find her. Tyrion had even sent out his best detective on the case, but even he, who never before failed, could not find any whisper of who she could be. And how she knew to show up there.</p><p>He needed to find her, and he couldn’t, and it was one more thing to drive his rage.</p><p>A timer dinged, and Jaime let out the breath he wasn't aware he’d been holding. </p><p>“Until next week, Mr. Lannister.” Seaworth said as he stood up and offered his hand.</p><p>Jaime stood up and shook the offered hand, and suddenly, he wanted to sit back down, and tell him everything, let this man who was paid to care help him, but he swallowed back the feeling and left without a word.</p><p>***</p><p>“Jaime, you’re free.”</p><p>Dr. Samwell (<em> “Just call me Sam”) </em>Tarly looked at him with friendly brown eyes as the whirring of the machine stopped and he flexed his right arm for the first time in three months.</p><p>It felt weak, soft but whole. </p><p>He scratched one spot on his arm, and he felt an unsettling tingle in his nerves, but he brushed it aside; it felt good to feel anything there, even that. </p><p>He flexed his hand, twisted his wrist, and yes, he could feel the muscles aching from disuse, but they were still alive. </p><p>
  <em> Like me, they’re still here. </em>
</p><p>Sam handed him a pen, and he wrote his name on a paper, and it didn’t hurt, it was only tiring because he wasn’t one for writing even before the attack.</p><p>“Hold this and grip it,” Sam said as he handed him a stress toy. It felt weird to squeeze the toy, but he could, and he wanted to cry with relief. </p><p>“Your grip is a bit weak, but that’s to be expected,” Sam said as he wrote something down. “Keep that, I want you to practice with it three times a day for about 10 minutes each. You should also be doing some weightlifting as you see fit.”</p><p>He patted Jaime on the back, and he couldn’t hide his grin. “I was hoping for this, and I was right. You’re going to be fine, just like before.”</p><p>Jaime looked at Sam, and without a thought, he pulled the man into a hug. Sam hugged him back, and he was at peace for that minute.</p><p>
  <em> I’m going to be fine </em>
</p><p>***</p><p>
  <em> I'm alive and I'm whole. </em>
</p><p>Jaime walked down the street, not caring where he was going as he ignored the surly huffs from his bodyguard. Tyrion had hired him, and Jaime had made some minor protests before giving in, so grateful for his brother's thoughtfulness and so unequipped to thank him for it.</p><p>Clegane was the man's name, and he was frightening to look at, taller than Jaime and with some scars on his face, but that just made him all the better as a bodyguard. Random people would not think to attack a man like that, and if anyone was serious about carrying one out, Clegane could handle it.</p><p>He hadn't had many occasions to call on the man, but today was different, today was a day to walk and feel like himself again, to feel sunshine on a body that was no longer broken.</p><p>That was the plan, but only after a few blocks, Jaime felt a cramp in his side, it had been too long since he'd done anything like this. His feet were starting to blister, his loafers were not meant for this kind of activity. Even his arm, the arm that had been saved, felt like a dead weight at his side.</p><p>At that point, he leaned up against a building, and waved to Clegane.</p><p>"Can you call the car?" He asked, his voice low to disguise the irritation. Clegane had come along with him without a word of complaint, he didn't deserve to be berated for Jaime's shortcomings.</p><p>"Yeah, it will be a while. Want to wait in there?"</p><p>Clegane pointed up, and Jaime saw he had stopped at a restaurant, well, a diner really. He'd wandered above downtown, an area of King's Landing his family would scoff at, and three months ago, he would have joined them, but today it looked like an oasis in the desert.</p><p>Jaime nodded and went inside and saw <em> her. </em></p><p>Technically, he saw her back, her short hair just hitting the collar of her shirt, but he knew it was her, he knew that somehow, through magic or a miracle, he'd found her.</p><p>The hostess, a pretty brunette named Jeyne, smiled at him, the smile most women threw at him. </p><p>"Excuse me, do you have a paper and pen I could use?" He flashed her his best smile, and he could swear her knees shook a little. </p><p>He wrote out his number and his initials, but he knew it wasn't necessary, she would know it was him.</p><p>"Would you do me a favor?"</p><p>The girl's head bobbed up and down, so eager, so willing, and he gave her another smile, all she would get from him sadly.</p><p>"Can you give this to the tall blonde woman over there?"</p><p>Her face fell, but she gave him a smile that did not reach her eyes and she nodded.</p><p>"Thank you," he said with another smile before he walked out.</p><p>He wanted to run to her, to thank her, to give her his entire fortune, he wanted to ask her a thousand questions, but he wasn't stupid. She ran from him, and he did not want to spook her before he could thank her.</p><p>Clegane gave him a look, but Jaime shook his head. "Not the right place."</p><p>He smiled to himself as Clegane shook his head in disgust. </p><p>
  <em> Found you </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Funny story time: </p><p>On the second day of eighth grade, I fell off the bus on the way home from school and broke my ankle in two places. It was quite the adventure for 13 year old me, because I didn't realize it was broken until I had walked across the street, and then found out that I couldn't walk anymore.</p><p>Fortunately for me, a man driving by (a firefighter!) saw me crying on the road, and he had a cell phone (a rarity in those days), and called my parents and an ambulance. </p><p>At the hospital, there was some speculation that I might need surgery to deal with the injury, but ultimately, the docs sent me home with a splint for the weekend, and I got my cast on that Monday (if possible, don't break bones on Fridays because that's what you get).</p><p>And I don't really know much about injuries like mine, but I kind of based Jaime's on that, where he did have to surgery, and a massive cast on his arm. But the tingle thing, that's true; 25 years later, when I scratch where the bone broke, it still feels weird.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>They finally connect</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you so much for the comments!!!</p>
<p>It's a great part of my day to get to see how many people are enjoying my story. :D :D :D</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>He waited three days for her to call.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He knew that he didn't have to be at home, he'd given her his cell number, he could go places, but he wanted to be home when she called.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She would eventually call, he just knew it, deep down inside, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So he waited. He stayed home and ran in circles, and lifted weights as he could, although it was much harder than it used to be. He watched TV, way too much TV, and in a weird moment, invited Clegane to watch a football match with him. They rooted for different teams, but it was still more fun than he would have thought.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He had doubts, of course he had doubts. More than once he grabbed his keys and was fully intent on walking into her diner and demanding she talk to him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Or he thought of doing what his father would do, buy the place for whatever fee the owner would charge, then find her address from the employee records and harass her until she met with him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He had doubts his approach would work, but he knew, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span>, that whatever happened, she had to be willing to talk first.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So he waited.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And three days later, late at night, he got a text from a number he didn't know.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Unknown: Mr. Lannister?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The question mark surprised him, but he remembered that he was an idiot, that he hadn't left his name, just his initials, because he assumed she would know him, that her co-worker would know him, because he is an idiot, and he doesn't go places where people don't know him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>J: It's Jaime</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He saw the dots come up for her, but she didn't hit reply. It hurt to see her ignore him, to see her just walk away from this conversation.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>J: And you are?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Again, three dots, again nothing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then finally a response.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Unknown: Call me B</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>J: B. Beeeeeee. I like it. Can we talk? Texting is hard on my hands.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He didn't lie to her, he refused to lie to her. It did hurt, especially his right hand, it was true. But he didn't tell her the full truth, that Sam had recommended texting exercises to get his hands used to the motions again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She didn't need to know that, he thought. And he really wanted, really needed to hear her voice again, to convince himself that she was real after all, that she had indeed saved him, that he wasn't going to wake up on the tenth floor, handcuffed and bleeding and dying.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His phone rang, and it took him only a second to answer. Far too eager, but he couldn't lie to her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Hi," he said, cringing at himself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Hello," she said. Her voice was so soft, so quiet, it didn't match the fierce warrior he remembered. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"How are you?" she asked him that, of course she would ask him that first, of course she would be an angel concerned about him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I'm OK. You were right. I am OK."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He had to lie to her, he had no choice.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Good,” she said, her voice so quiet he could hear the rustling of paper.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Am I on speakerphone?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah,” she said. “I needed my hands free, but my roommate is staying at her girlfriend’s place tonight, so I’m alone here.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He heard more rustling. “What are you doing that you need your hands free?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Drawing,” she said. “Well, tonight it’s mostly coloring. It’s the only time I get to do this, and I didn’t want to miss it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She sighed and he heard it in her voice, that she wanted to let him go, she wanted to be done with what happened to them, but he couldn’t, he just couldn’t let go, not yet.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, um, what are you drawing?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s silly, but it’s a kids book, called The Bunny Knight.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He laughed at the title, and he was happy when he heard her laughing too. “I know, it’s ridiculous, I just had this idea of a bunny in armor, and it wouldn’t leave me alone, so I draw it in my free time.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He pictured a white rabbit on its hind legs, trying to clutch a sword, and he laughed again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Does he make a good show of it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She does,” she said, and he could tell she was smiling. “She works hard and becomes the second-best knight in the kingdom, only being bested by her mentor.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Only second best?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Gotta leave room for a sequel,” and he laughed again, and she scribbled again, and he knew it was time.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I wanted to thank you -”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Please don’t.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He paused, not knowing what to do with that, how do you counter a person who won't let you thank them?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But -”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, please, that’s not why I did it, I don’t want anything from you. Not even that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He heard the pleading in her voice, but he had come this far, he couldn’t back down now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why did you do it?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Why did you run?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She dropped her pencil, he heard it hit the table and roll to the floor. “It was the right thing to do.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She sucked in a breath. “They were hurting you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“They would have killed me.” He whispered the words to her, words that he had thought and he had squished down into the dark corner of his mind, words that he had never spoken out loud.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I read that they said they were drunk, having fun, and it got out of hand...” her voice trailed off. He had read that too, before crumbling the paper in his hands and setting it on fire in his sink.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“They would have, I saw their faces, it was in their eyes...”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>His heart started pounding, and he shut his eyes, and he’s back there, but she isn’t there yet, she might not make it this time, and he’s lying there as he hears his own bones crunch when the crowbar connects with his arm. He screams, he screams, he screams, and no one hears…</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Jaime!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her voice calls him back, his heart is still racing, but he opens his eyes, he’s gripping his phone too hard, which means he’s not in cuffs, his arm is not broken.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Jaime?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m alright,” he said softly, he could barely hear himself over his heart beat. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re really not.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He laughed, a huge, uncomfortable laugh, that succeeded in shutting off his breathing for 30 seconds until he could calm down.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m fine Bee. My arm has healed, my wrist is fine, even the concussion symptoms are gone, I’m as healthy as I’ve ever been.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The words flowed out of him, they were all true, even Dr. Seaworth would have to admit that they were true. He would cling to that, he was alright, he was alright, he was alright…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She sighed. He knew that sigh, heard it from Tyrion all the time, a sigh of utter disappointment and resignation.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>She doesn’t even know me, and she’s given up already.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m glad, I’m really glad to hear that,” she said as she yawned. “But I have to get some sleep, double shift tomorrow.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I understand.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He didn’t really, but he had enough manners to fake it. She was tired of him, and it was time to say goodbye.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Goodnight Bee.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Goodnight Jaime.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She hung up first. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Of course she did.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He saved her number in his phone, just in case. And he slept and dreamed of terrors and woke up screaming.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>***</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Should I have called him?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The question kept rolling around her mind as she tried to get to sleep. It had been two days since their phone call, and he had proven that, if nothing else, he respected her boundaries.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He had not tried to thank her again, he had not called her at all, all he had done was send her a badly edited picture of a rabbit holding a sword. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was cute, and she had laughed and told him so, but that was it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Should I let it go, say goodbye and block his number?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She heard the panic in his voice again, and she shivered, because it reminded her of that nightmare that still surfaced in her brain every now and then. She had dreamt it, but he had lived it, and it didn't feel right to abandon him to it when they had shared the experience.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She turned over and listened for Sansa, but she was asleep, like Margaery was asleep, because they were young and unencumbered by thoughts of a man sent to her by a tree.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She shook her head and laughed at the absurdity of this situation, and tried once again to sleep.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next chapter, Tyrion will make a visit, and we'll get to see how both of Jaime and Brienne are dealing with their new, sort of friendship.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>We meet Tyrion, and our new pair of friends test some boundaries.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jaime's heart raced at the knock on his door, but it only took him a few seconds to recognize his brother's knock.</p><p>"Jaime, it's me."</p><p>Tyrion's voice was soft, but clear too, and when Jaime opened the door for him, his normally aloof little brother wrapped his arms around Jaime's legs.</p><p>He'd been away during his recovery. He'd flown back from Essos on the night of his surgery, when the doctors weren't sure how bad his injuries were. He'd stayed as long as he could, but their father demanded he return to Essos, to close this deal that would give them another 50 million crowns they did not need, and he'd left before Jaime had woken up.</p><p>And now here he was, backing up from his brother, wiping away tears as Jaime looked away, giving Tyrion the space to collect himself.</p><p>Tyrion took another minute before looking him up and down. "All better now?"</p><p>Jaime flexed his arm with a grin, and it felt great to show off for his brother like that. "All better."</p><p>He didn't mention that he'd gone another night with only a few hours of sleep because the nightmare had been so bad he was a little afraid of his bed. His brother didn't need to know that, no one did.</p><p>
  <em> Bee would understand. </em>
</p><p>He brushed the thought away, this wasn't her problem, and he led Tyrion to his living room and got them some beers.</p><p>Tyrion took a sip, then shook himself, preparing for something unpleasant. “Tywin sent me.”</p><p>“Oh,” Jaime said, surprised but also not surprised. “I thought he would send Cersei first.”</p><p>“He tried. She wasn’t interested.”</p><p>Cersei had visited him, before and after his surgery, two times exactly, and she had told him she would try to see him more, but she was awfully busy at work with him “out sick.” He’d wanted to throttle her for that euphemism, but she didn’t understand. She thought it was just a broken arm and a bad headache. </p><p>“She said she’s been busy,” Jaime said, more to himself than Tyrion, but Tyrion nodded.</p><p>“She has been. She has quite the ruthless spirit when it comes to property acquisition. Shame she doesn’t have enough people skills to close deals.”</p><p>Jaime laughed at that, Tyrion did too, it was an unkind thought about his twin, but the truth was hardly ever kind.</p><p>“What does Tywin want from me?”</p><p>Tyrion sighed and took another drink. “He told me to tell you it’s time to come back to work.”</p><p>Jaime reached for his beer, but his hand was shaking too much to hold it. He set it back down without saying a word.</p><p>“But I can tell him you’re not ready.”</p><p>Jaime looked away from his brother, looked at the wall like it wasn’t just a beige wall, wishing his brother would go away so he could be weak in peace.</p><p>Tyrion stood up, he always knew when to leave, and placed his hand on Jaime’s knee. “I’ll tell him that, but it won’t last forever.”</p><p>He got to the door, and Jaime watched him leave. As he closed the door, Tyrion looked at him, with a sadness in his eyes Jaime had never seen before.</p><p>“But nothing says you have to come back at all.”</p><p>Jaime smiled, his brother loved having the last word.</p><p>***</p><p>Brienne stepped out of her shower, dried herself off and looked at the drawing she’d finished last night.</p><p>Amelia, the bunny knight, stood alone in a tourney field, facing down a monstrous beast of knight, a heavily muscled badger with a vicious grin. She was afraid, Brienne could see the subtle quiver in her lip, but her paw gripped her sword firmly; Amelia was standing up straight, ready to face the beast in front of her.</p><p>It was nearly perfect, perfection was too much to hope for, but she was so pleased with it that she snapped a picture of it and sent it to <em> him </em> before she could stop herself.</p><p>It was late, she told herself, so late that he’s probably asleep by now, what harm could it do to send him a text he’ll see in the morning.</p><p>She settled down at her desk, started sketching out the next scene where Amelia's sword connects with Gregor the badger's armor, when her phone buzzed.</p><p>She smiled at his message, just a row of emojis with their heads exploding, when another message came through.</p><p>Jaime: Can I call u?</p><p>B: Drawing time, so you'll have to be on speaker...and my roommate is home, so she might hear. OK?</p><p>He didn't answer, but then her phone started ringing.</p><p>"Hi," he said, he sounded so alert for this time of night.</p><p>"Hi."</p><p>She grabbed her pencil and started sketching, as she heard him fumble with something on his side.</p><p>"What's next in your story?"</p><p>She smiled as she looked down at the bare outlines of her drawing.</p><p>"Amelia is going to land a hit against a formidable opponent, and he is not going to take it well."</p><p>She had mapped out the story, her drawings, everything the story would need was already done. It was just down to making time for it.</p><p>"When I can see it?"</p><p>She looked at her stack of drawings, only ten so far, it had been two years and only ten.</p><p>"I'll probably have it done in a couple of months, give or take some exhaustion."</p><p>He paused there, thinking something while she outlined the background of Amelia's fight. </p><p>"Bee, do you need money?"</p><p>He almost whispered the question, but she could hear the concern in his voice, and a slight, very slight hint of pity, and a flash of anger hit her. </p><p>"Everyone needs money, Mr. Lannister, and only someone who has never been without would ask such a dumb question."</p><p>She took a breath, held it until she could feel the anger slide out of her. "What I don't need is <em> your </em> money or <em> your </em> pity."</p><p>She was tempted, so tempted to hang up on him and never speak to him again, but something held her back, something kept her furiously drawing rather than just leaving this conversation.</p><p>He cleared his throat, trying to find the right words, leaving only silence on the line. </p><p>"Sorry."</p><p>He cleared his throat again. </p><p>She set her pencil down and she crawled into bed with her phone, knowing that she was done for the night.</p><p>"I don't need anything from you," she said the words gently, but firmly.</p><p>"OK."</p><p>He sounded so sad right then, she almost wished he was here so she could hold him, but that was a ridiculous thought. He wouldn't want to be here in her apartment with thin walls and chipped paint and the one faucet that never ever poured hot water. </p><p>
  <em> He has his life, and for now, this is mine. </em>
</p><p>"I need to sleep," she said and he chuckled.</p><p>"Don't we all." There was no joy in that laugh. "Goodnight Bee."</p><p>"Goodnight."</p><p>She didn't go to sleep. Instead, she thought about the golden man, and what someone like that wanted with her.</p><p>***</p><p>J: Are u OK on money?</p><p>J: Not trying to save you, or make u charity case...could help find you better job?</p><p>J: Let me do something useful</p><p>He stared at the texts before deleting them. He stared at his phone, but this time not at her number, at <em> his </em>number.</p><p>Bronn was Tyrion’s detective, and he was the one Lannisters used to suss out info on rival businesses and the people involved. He was discreet, he got results, and he was an incredible resource (as long as you could pay). He hadn’t had any luck when Jaime hadn’t known anything about her, but now that he had her phone number, Bronn could find out any information Jaime wanted on her. Her entire life could be in a folder for him in about two hours.</p><p>Jaime was tired, he was angry at her for refusing his help, and he knew Bronn would only make it worse, and this war going on inside him was doing him no good.</p><p>He threw his phone on the couch, grabbed his wallet and headed out.</p><p>Clegane was waiting for him, like he always was, and they headed to the elevator together. Jaime didn't have a plan or a destination in mind, but he needed to get out before he did something unforgivable.</p><p>He heard the ding of the elevator, and he felt the familiar stain of sweat on his neck. Inside, he stood in the corner, both his hands clutching the safety rails, closing his eyes and listening to the pounding of his heart.</p><p>"Have you thought about moving?"</p><p>Clegane was looking at him, not with pity or concern, but more like he was trapped in hell with the stupidest man alive.</p><p>"Moving?"</p><p>"You don't have to live like this." Jaime laughed to himself, because he could hear the rest of the sentence, you dumb fuck, in Clegane's gravelly voice in his head.</p><p>His eyes flicked up to above the door, and he shut them immediately as the elevator went past the tenth floor.</p><p>
  <em> It hurts to breathe, and they keep kicking, I don't have the breath to scream, please stop, please stop, please … </em>
</p><p>He felt the elevator settle beneath him, and he heard the final ding of the ride, the sweat was cold on his neck, but he was in the lobby and outside before he could relax again.</p><p>Clegane looked at him, saying nothing, and Jaime was so absurdly grateful for the contempt in his eyes that he had to fight an urge to hug the man.</p><p>His car pulled up and Jaime and Clegane climbed in, and he had nowhere to go, and told the driver to just drive anywhere, and it was a waste of time, a waste of gas, and it was almost like being back to normal.</p><p>
  <em> Almost </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next up: Jaime and Brienne cope with some surprises.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A disturbing interlude upsets both Jaime and Brienne.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I've added a chapter count. Fair warning, it's just a guess for now, so it could go up or down, but the story is written, just needs editing.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Brienne came home, longing for a shower, anything to get the stink of the diner and the stink of the day off. A steady stream of people came in, so much that she didn’t get a break for her entire eight hour shift, which is illegal, but happened all the time regardless. </p><p>She kicked off her shoes, and looked at her desk, and she felt so weary because she knew that she couldn’t draw tonight, that she just did not have the energy tonight, like she didn’t have the energy last night, and the night before that, and she wanted to cry, but there was nothing to be done.</p><p>But she wouldn’t cry. She had chosen this path, and she was strong enough to make it through. </p><p>
  <em> Just another year, maybe two, and then my life can begin for real. </em>
</p><p>A soft knock on her bedroom door interrupted her moody thoughts, and Sansa came in with a dark look on her face.</p><p>She sat on Brienne’s bed, not looking at her. “Margaery asked me to move in with her.”</p><p>She said the words so solemnly that it took Brienne a minute to fully hear them. </p><p>“And I said yes.”</p><p>She had tears in her eyes when she finally looked at Brienne, and Brienne had no choice but to comfort her, putting her arm around the girl who seemed so upset about happy news.</p><p>“Sansa, why are you crying?”</p><p>She sat up and wiped her eyes. </p><p>“It’s not fair,” she said. “You help me get through Ramsey, and you let me skip on rent for months at a time as I figured stuff out, I owe you everything and I’m leaving you because I had to go and meet the love of my life.”</p><p>Brienne laughed, a small one, but Sansa joined her. “How dare you be so happy.”</p><p>Sansa smiled through her reddened face, and Brienne tucked her hair behind her ears. “Go live with Margaery, be happy, I’ll be fine.”</p><p>Sansa smiled at that and threw her arms around Brienne. “I’ve got to start packing, you wouldn’t believe all the stuff I have. It’s everywhere.”</p><p>Brienne smiled as her roommate left, smiled as her friend left, but it disappeared as soon as she closed the door.</p><p>She didn’t need Sansa’s rent, she reminded herself. She owned the place, it was hers for as long as she wanted, and her rent was just a bonus.</p><p>But she did need the hope that bonus promised. </p><p>With her inheritance, she’d bought this apartment, and when Sansa had seen her ad for a roommate, she’d given the poor girl generous terms, and yes, when she couldn’t pay, she’d let it slide, because Sansa needed to be here, because Ramsey was at home, and he couldn’t leave after what he'd done to her, and she shouldn’t have to be around the man who hurt her so much.</p><p>Sansa had a stable job now, had found her own path, and had found Margaery too, and Brienne laid on her bed, and cried silent tears for her own dream that would just have to wait longer.</p><p>***</p><p>Jaime was not asleep.</p><p>He was lying down, the lights were off, his eyes were closed, but he was only dozing.</p><p>He was trying out sleeping on the couch tonight after one particularly rough nightmare the night before.</p><p>He had not imagined the front door handle jiggling, the door shaking as someone tried to get into his apartment without a keycard. </p><p>
  <em> They're back, they're back, they're here… </em>
</p><p>He grabbed his phone, using the screen as a light and made it to his closet. He huddled on the floor, clutching his phone like a life preserver.</p><p>He was hunched in a ball, so it took him a minute to notice the pain in his chest and then it was everywhere all at once. He tried to breathe through it, but his breath caught in his throat, and he couldn't get it out.</p><p>His hand started to hurt, and he saw his phone, and he called Bee, she could save him again, she had a knack for it, she could save him, she would save him…</p><p>***</p><p>
  <em> He never just called. </em>
</p><p>She saw his name flash on her phone, and her alarms went up, her heart pounding as she picked up her phone with shaking hands.</p><p>"Jaime?" she whispered, hoping he just called first because he was lonely or drunk, anything other than the scenarios running through her head.</p><p>"Bee," he gasped her name, like it hurt to talk. She heard him trying to breathe, trying to move air past his closing throat.</p><p>
  <em> He's dying </em>
</p><p>No, it couldn't be true, not again, not where she couldn't save him.</p><p>She jumped out of bed, crashing through her room in the dark until she reached Sansa's door. She broke a rule, Sansa's rule that you never enter a bedroom without knocking, but she needed Sansa's phone, she needed to save him again.</p><p>"Brienne, what are you doing?" Her voice croaked a little, she was alert, on edge even, Brienne knew better than to surprise her like this, but it couldn't be helped.</p><p>"I'll tell you in a minute," she said, grabbing Sansa's phone and dialing emergency services.</p><p>She tentatively held her phone to her ear, and yes, she could hear him, sounding so far away, in so much pain, but still there.</p><p>***</p><p>Jaime woke up in a hospital bed.</p><p>His heart started pounding, he heard the beeping in the machine rising and rising, and it had all been a dream, he was back months ago, when the surgeons told him that he could recover completely, or he could lose functionality in his arm, there was no way to know right now, and he had had to be sedated at the news, but no, he could see his hand, he could move his hand …</p><p>"Jaime."</p><p>He looked and there was Tyrion with Dr. Tarly, and he could move his hand, all things that didn’t happen last time. His heart was still pounding, he could feel the sweat on his skin, but he could relax now, just a little bit.</p><p>“What happened? My heart…” Jaime felt his chest, but he didn’t feel any bandages or scars, but his sides hurt, his ribs hurt. </p><p>Tarly cleared his throat. “You had a severe panic attack Mr. Lannister.”</p><p>“That’s it?” Jaime felt a surge of rage come up. </p><p>
  <em> All this for that. </em>
</p><p>“We’re going to keep you here overnight, and we’ll need to check your vitals, but I sincerely urge you to talk to your psychiatrist.”</p><p>Jaime had not wanted to see any more doctors than he had to, but there had been no fighting it. He needed the pain pills after his surgery, and Dr. Tarly refused to prescribe them without regular sessions, and he'd been stuck. And he'd kept going, even after his prescription ran out, because it was something to break up the dullness of his new life, even as he kept the man at arm's length. </p><p>Sam swallowed, closing his eyes, before putting the chart down and looking Jaime dead on. “This isn’t going to go away. You’ll face it eventually, might as well start now.”</p><p>He left the room, and it was just him and Tyrion, his brother just looking at him, and Jaime looking away.</p><p>“You called someone to call for help?”</p><p>As his heart slowed down, Jaime rolled Tyrion’s words over and over in his mind, and yes, that would have been the thing to do, call for help instead of reaching out to Bee. But at that time, he needed <em> her, </em> his panicked mind had only wanted her.</p><p>Tyrion walked up to the bed and handed Jaime his phone.</p><p>“Who is she?”</p><p>“Leave her alone.” Jaime turned to look his little brother in the eye, putting all of his forcefulness into that look. “Stay out of it.”</p><p>“You found her,” Tyrion whispered. Jaime looked away from him, but nodded his head quickly.</p><p>Tyrion shook his head. “I should be happy, it has to be a miracle that you find the one woman on the planet who would run <em> away </em>from you.”</p><p>Tyrion chuckled at his own joke and shook his head again.</p><p>“You should let her know you’re OK, I imagine she's worried about you.”</p><p>Tyrion left him, and he held his phone, wondering if it was even worth calling her. Would she pick up? Would she answer even a text?</p><p>
  <em> Would she want to know? </em>
</p><p>He typed a simple message of <em> I’m OK. Thank u </em>. She deserved that at least.</p><p>***</p><p>“A wrong number?”</p><p>Brienne nodded. Sansa was tired, and she would remember this, but the room was still dim, hopefully she wouldn’t notice Brienne’s flush, a sure sign that she was fibbing.</p><p>But she couldn’t tell her the truth, she just couldn’t bear the idea of her best friend looking at her like she was insane. The story was insane, she knew that, but that didn’t make it untrue. </p><p>“I picked up without looking, and he was breathing funny, and I didn’t want to hang up on him, so I needed your phone. I’m sorry I woke you up.”</p><p>Brienne started shaking at her words. She was sorry, sorry she’d gone for that hike, sorry she was dragging her friend into this mess she’d created when she’d called him. She put her head in her hands and let the panic and worry of the last minutes (<em> the last months) </em> wash over her as she felt Sansa’s small hand squeeze her arm.</p><p>“It’s OK, it was an emergency. I understand.”</p><p>Sansa hugged her, and then let out a yawn that Brienne caught.</p><p>“Time for bed?” Sansa asked, with a slight grin.</p><p>“Time for bed.”</p><p>Back in bed, with the lights off, she looked at her phone, and stayed up until his message flashed across the screen, and she slept and dreamt of nothing.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>In the next chapter, Jaime and Brienne make some changes.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Changes afoot! And say hello (and goodbye) to Tywin.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jaime: Can we talk?</p><p>B: Not now. Tired. Tomorrow?</p><p>J: OK</p><p>He did not say how much that hurt to read. It had been three days since he'd been released, three days since he checked into this hotel.</p><p>He'd pretended to be his old self, all cool smiles and knowing glances when he'd checked in. It took some maneuvering to get the room he wanted (ground floor, courtyard windows, far from the elevator), but it was like muscle memory charming the clerk into giving him what he wanted. His name and his platinum card hadn't hurt either.</p><p>That first night, he slept without dreaming and woke up rested.</p><p>It hadn't lasted, but he wasn't greedy. </p><p>It was still early, he was surprised, it felt so much later, but he still jumped when he heard the knock on his door.</p><p>He knew this knock too, and he took a breath and swallowed before opening the door.</p><p>His father was there and without missing a beat, waltzed into the room and stood in the middle of the suite like he owned the place.</p><p>"The penthouse wasn't available?"</p><p>His words were cold, as was his demeanor, but Jaime knew him better. The icier he got, the angrier he was, and now Jaime could practically see the steam rising from his shoulders.</p><p>"This is what I asked for." Tywin wrinkled his nose in distaste as he looked around at the suite.</p><p>He shook his head and gave Jaime a withering look, the one that was disappointment and fury mingled together.</p><p>"I'm sure it has its charms." Tywin went to sit on the sofa, but stood back up at the last minute. "I saw movers outside your apartment yesterday."</p><p>Jaime nodded, already tired of this conversation. "Tyrion picked up some essentials for me when I left the hospital, and I told him to have the rest put in storage."</p><p>He'd already looked for an apartment, and he'd found a couple that interested him, but he had to wait for Tyrion because he was nearly 30 and had no idea what to look for in living space. At least his little brother, who had left The Rock at 18 and only came back occasionally, would only tease him and not judge him.</p><p>"That's going to make for an awkward commute to work."</p><p>Jaime shook his head. He'd been dreading this, but here it was, the perfect opening.</p><p>"It would be, but I'm not coming back."</p><p>He'd laid in his hospital bed for two nights before they let him go. Sam had given him several pamphlets on PTSD and working through anxiety attacks and Jaime didn't have his degrees, but he knew that he could not keep living and working in the same building where he had nearly died. </p><p>Even the thought of going back there, even for something mundane, was enough to send a shudder through him. </p><p>Tywin sighed, but Jaime could again hear the angry undertones in his voice. "You've been gone for four months, some more time away won't make that much difference. But people are talking, so you better keep this short."</p><p>He said those words like he got to decide the future, like only his will mattered, and Jaime had heard that tone his entire life, but no more.</p><p>"No Dad, I'm not coming back at all. I quit."</p><p>Tywin’s nostrils flared. “You don’t get to quit, son.”</p><p>Jaime brought himself up straight and looked the man in the eye. All his life he’d wanted his father’s love, but he learned a long time ago that that was not going to happen. Cersei still hadn’t figured that out, and it drove her to dark places of hero worship that made Jaime shudder. Tyrion was the smart one, he hadn’t bothered trying. </p><p>Jaime pulled out his phone and called up his email drafts. He took a breath and hit send, his resignation letter going out to every executive in Lanniscorp. </p><p>“I just did.”</p><p>Tywin’s phone dinged, but he ignored it as he glared at his son.</p><p>“I’m cutting you off.”</p><p>“Fine.”</p><p>Jaime smiled to himself, because it was no threat. He’d had a salary since he was 16, and when he’d turned 18, he’d listened to his aunt and opened up a savings account at a bank not associated with his family and had been putting every penny there ever since. Even then, he’d known what bastards his family could be. And he had his trust fund, which Tywin couldn't touch either; he'd be just fine without his family's money. Or his family.</p><p>Tywin didn’t give him another glance before storming out. Jaime wanted to tell him more, that he had two children who weren’t him that could both be trained to take over his company, that either of them would be a better fit, but as he closed the door behind his father, he knew it wouldn’t have made any difference.</p><p>His father was the way he was. He couldn’t accept a dwarf son, or a daughter, any more than he could accept a son with a broken mind.</p><p>***</p><p>“I’ll call you when we get settled in,” Sansa said as she released Brienne from her hug. “And we’re having our housewarming soon, promise me you’ll come?”</p><p>“I promise, but I’ll have to work around my schedule.”</p><p>Sansa shook her head, but hugged her again. “We’ll arrange it, don’t worry, just be there.”</p><p>She ran out the door, she had to go and beat the movers to their place because Margaery was at work.</p><p>Brienne sighed as she closed the door. Her apartment felt so empty. Sansa didn’t have much stuff, most of the living room furniture were pieces left over from Brienne’s childhood home, but gone were all the little touches she’d left around the living room that made it feel like home, not just a room. </p><p>She’d taken her vase from the coffee table, and Brienne suddenly missed the smell of fresh flowers in the room. Sansa had put a string of fake flowers and ivy above the fireplace, and they were gone too, and it looked so plain now. </p><p>And of course, the young vivacious woman who was always laughing (or crying) with gusto was gone too. Brienne walked back to her bed and threw herself onto her mattress, feeling ridiculous that she was so sad when she was happy for her too.</p><p>And she was happy. Sansa had been through so much, and now she could be happy, and it was right, she deserved that happiness, but this is what happened to Brienne again and again. She loved her friends, she had loved her family, but they always left her behind.</p><p>
  <em> Like my father. Like Renly </em>
</p><p>She had loved him at first sight, in 7th grade he had been the 8th grader that every girl had a crush on, and she was no exception. He was gorgeous and kind, even kind to her, telling her good job when she came in first in a hoops contest or glaring at boys who would snicker at her when they were together.</p><p>They were friends, best friends for years, and Brienne fantasized about more, until the day he’d told her about his crush with tears in his eyes. She had comforted him as her world crashed down. And he’d been so popular with both boys and girls, his relationship with Loras didn’t hurt him at all. And then she was alone because Loras didn’t like sharing. And Renly only wanted him to be happy.</p><p>Brienne wiped the tears away. Sansa was not Renly, who loved everyone and no one all at once. Sansa was kind and loyal, and wouldn’t forget her.</p><p>If she told herself that enough it would eventually be true.</p><p>She heard her phone buzz and sat up to grab it, a small part of her hoping it was Sansa coming back, but no, not her this time.</p><p>J: Hi</p><p>J: Can we talk now?</p><p>Brienne stared at his messages, and she felt that same surge of panic as the last time he'd called her. But she swallowed it down, he was fine, he'd told her so, if only her brain would listen.</p><p>This time she called him, a first. She felt her heart flutter as she listened to the ringing, her doubt crushing her every second he didn't pick up</p><p>But he did pick up.</p><p>"Hi Bee." His voice was quiet, but somehow lighter too. </p><p>"Hi."</p><p>They always stumbled at this part, and she wished she had the strength to get up and draw something right now, anything to have something to do with her hands, but she just didn't have the will, not today.</p><p>"It wasn't a heart attack."</p><p>She didn't know what to say to that, she's not even sure if she had had an idea of what happened to him outside of him being hurt.</p><p>"My idiot cousin was completely wasted and read 16 in the elevator as 18, and he tried to get into my room, and I …"</p><p>His voice trailed off, like he was back <em> there </em> again, and she just couldn't leave him there, not then and not now.</p><p>"You had an anxiety attack?" she asked, bringing him back to her.</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>She heard him swallow, a long tortured pause that she doesn't break.</p><p>"A bad one."</p><p>He cleared his throat, brushing the memories away. "But I'm better. I'm making changes."</p><p>"You buy a new car and driver? Or a new vacation home? Or a new island?"</p><p>She hadn't tried teasing him, but now felt like the time. She had to know who he was if he wanted more from her.</p><p>He huffed. "Maybe next month."</p><p>He laughed again. "I moved out."</p><p>"Congratulations," she said with a smile, she felt it too. He deserved happiness too.</p><p>"My brother and I are now the only Lannisters in the city who aren't living in the family compound."</p><p>"Wow."</p><p>She didn't know much about his family, and she didn't seek out info on them (although more than once she'd seen Sansa devour a magazine with Cersei on the cover), but even she knew that was not a small thing. Their ancestral home had been lost a century ago in a mudslide, and Tywin Lannister himself had made that tower happen, as a central business and a family home to replace what should have been his birthright.</p><p>"How did your family take it?"</p><p>He laughed again. "My brother was delighted, and my father cut me off."</p><p>She almost could see him shrugging, like what are you gonna do, like everyday your own father disowns you.</p><p>"But it's what I need. I'm in a hotel now and I  just have to find an apartment, and I'll be good again."</p><p>It was her turn to laugh, but the 'again' made her pause. It implied so much more than he was telling her.</p><p>
  <em> What did I save you from? </em>
</p><p>But she had to say something now, she'd been silent too long, and she couldn't say that. </p><p>"I know that feeling. My roommate just moved out, and I'm dreading the idea of finding someone new to live with."</p><p>Her eyes widened because she hadn't thought through her statement, she was just telling a man, an almost friend about her day, and now it was hanging between them, and she couldn't pull it back.</p><p>"You need a roommate?"</p><p>Her face flushed because she so wanted to lie, and it should have been easy. He didn't know her, she'd kept him away, she could hang up right now and she suspected he would get the hint and go away.</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>Her brain was a traitor, she should stick a qtip in her ear and give it the poke it deserves.</p><p>"Bee, are you offering?"</p><p>She breathed out, she hadn't realized she'd been holding her breath in.</p><p>"There's no elevator," she blurted out.</p><p>And then she was off, the words practically jumping out of her mouth, telling him about the bad sink, and the thin walls, and how she owned the place, but it wasn't great, and he couldn't live with her if he was just going to leave after two nights of slumming.</p><p>"You wouldn't like it here," she concluded. "It's just not enough for a Lannister."</p><p>"But you forget, Bee, I'm not a Lannister anymore."</p><p>***</p><p>She didn't say no.</p><p>He clung to that as he nervously knocked on her door. He was going to meet <em> her </em>, finally, he was going to see the woman who saved him.</p><p>She had insisted he see the place, <em> her </em> place, before he made a decision about living there.</p><p>He looked up her building when she gave him the address, and she wasn't wrong to warn him. </p><p>She lived on the second floor, no elevator (thank the Seven), there were lots of complaints on this one review site about water pressure and the roof leaking, and he was flabbergasted that she lived there, but she owned the place, so it couldn't be all bad.</p><p>
  <em> And unless an extended family of roaches has taken up residence in my room, I'm moving in. </em>
</p><p>She opened the door, <em> she </em> was there, he finally had <em> her </em> in his sights.</p><p>He had been expecting an angel, someone massive and shining with righteousness, the kind of person who would save a stranger.</p><p>But no, she was all mortal. She bit her lip and looked away from him as he looked her up and down. She was tall and blonde, he had that right, but she kept herself hunched over, trying to make herself smaller, keeping her head down to shave off half an inch of her height. She was wearing jeans and a t-shirt, and even in just those he could see how well built she was; legs for days, muscles on muscles, and those freckles that speckled her skin were everywhere.</p><p>And her face, well, there was no denying it, she wasn't beautiful, but there was something about her features that made him keep looking. Yes, the pieces fit together, they were her, even if her individual pieces weren't appealing. </p><p>And those eyes, he could look at that unearthly blue for days and never get bored.</p><p>He smiled then and cleared his throat; she knew he had been staring, and it was rude of him, but she'd been hidden for so long, he couldn't not look, not now.</p><p>"Hi." He said the words lightly, trying to pretend like this was just a meeting of two friends, something casual and nothing more.</p><p>He couldn't tell by her grimace if he succeeded.</p><p>"Hi, come in."</p><p>She turned from him and he followed her inside. The door shut with a thud and he was left with a heavy feeling in the air. He looked around and saw dust outlines where things used to be, and he wondered what the place looked like before.</p><p>But it wasn't bad; the living room was big, big enough for a huge couch of hers and a decent sized TV that he would be bringing. And on the left was a small table for the dining room with a couple of chairs. She led him down the hallway, past what would be his bathroom. </p><p>She opened a door, and he walked into an empty room, and it was small, she hadn't lied, just big enough for his bed and a dresser, maybe a small bookshelf if he was lucky.</p><p>"It's perfect," he said with a grin, and he meant it. It was not his room in The Rock, but that was a home for nightmares and nothing else.</p><p>"Are you sure?" </p><p>Her face was contorted by her confusion and he laughed, not at her, although she flinched at the sound. He wanted to reach out and hold her, to let her know that yes, her apartment was the opposite of every place he's ever been for his entire life, but it was also an oasis in the desert, and he'd been thirsty for decades.</p><p>"Yes," he said. "If you'll have me, I'm in."</p><p>She just shook her head as she looked away from him and walked back to the kitchen.</p><p>"Let's talk roommate rules."</p><p>He was ready for them.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Yes, they're roommates!!!</p><p>Up next: But it's not paradise.</p><p>Did you have a Renly? I did; his name was Dustin, and 13 year old me had a massive crush on him, as did every other girl I knew. </p><p>Total dreamboat.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Jaime has made changes, but they aren't the magic bullet for fixing what's wrong. :(</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I've made some changes." </p><p>He said the words quietly, it hurt to say them, to admit that he'd been wrong before. </p><p>"Oh?" Dr. Seaworth raised an eyebrow at him. He knew already, Jaime had had to tell his office about his change of address. But he did occasionally listen to the man, and he had said repeatedly that he couldn't expect people to help him if he never shared any details of his life.</p><p>"I moved," he said. "I'm renting a room from a woman I met."</p><p>"That is a big step," Seaworth said. "Are you sleeping better?"</p><p>Jaime shook his head. He had tried the new meds Seaworth had given him after his hospital stay, but they didn't do much, just kept him lethargic and irritable and still prone to screaming nightmares.</p><p>"I saw in the paper that the men who attacked you were sentenced yesterday."</p><p>He'd gotten that call yesterday. Bee (<em> she </em>had a name now, Brienne, even if he still called her Bee) had been at work, so she didn't see him shaking on the couch. It was his turn to get dinner ready, and she hadn't said anything about the fact that he'd crawled into bed at 6:30, so she must have seen too.</p><p>"Yes." He said the word blankly, kept his voice steady, he was proud of that.</p><p>"How do you feel about that?"</p><p>Feel? He didn't feel anything about them. They had tried to kill him and failed because Bee had saved him and now they'll spend the next 20 years in prison, but it won't make any difference because he'll be dreaming of them killing him for the rest of his life, and he wasn't about to share any of those feelings with anyone.</p><p>"It's over then."</p><p>Seaworth sighed. Jaime looked at his hand as Seaworth started aggressively tapping his pen against his notepad until finally it rolled out of his grip.</p><p>"Do you want my help?" It was the first time Seaworth had raised his voice in their sessions, and Jaime could see the tightness around his mouth, he was holding himself back.</p><p>"Because if you aren't interested, I'd like you to stop wasting my time."</p><p>Seaworth stood up, they were only halfway through the session, and he was signaling for Jaime to leave.</p><p>"I can't help you if you won't be honest with me about what happened to you. I can't help you if you won't be honest with yourself about what's happening to you. So until you decide to be active in your own healing, you are not welcome in my office."</p><p>Seaworth held the door for him, and Jaime stood up, his face dark, he could feel the anger building up in him once again. He wanted to fling volley after volley at this man who was dismissing him, but he looked at his face and the pity was back, it was all over him, and Jaime shrank from it. He shot Seaworth a murderous look but left without a word.</p><p>***</p><p>Brienne looked around her living room, their living room, and still couldn't believe it. Sansa had been gone for a week, and Jaime had been here for four days so far, and it felt different already. He didn't bring much with him, mostly clothes, a bed and dresser, a monstrous TV that barely fit in her living room, and an armchair he insisted on placing next to the couch.</p><p>Small stuff really, but it already felt like his presence was consuming her space. His socks were on the floor in front of her couch, his beer was in her fridge, <em> he </em> was in her home.</p><p>But, she reminded herself, it was his home now too. He agreed to her terms, he'd paid two months in advance (he had insisted) plus a security deposit (after she had explained what that was), he had signed her rental agreement, he was allowed to be here.</p><p>But it was also <em> him </em> and it didn't feel right, not now, maybe not ever. She saw him sometimes, how he looked at her, curiosity and awe mixed together on his too-handsome face. </p><p><em> It was nothing </em> she wanted to shout at him, but she couldn't lie to him. It was everything, for both of them, and it was so big that it was threatening to smother both of them before they even got the chance to know each other at all.</p><p>She jumped as the front door opened and then slammed close. Jaime had a dark look on his face, and he sneered at her as she caught his eye before heading to his room and slamming the door behind him.</p><p>She noticed she was breathing heavily, her heart fluttered a bit too, but she sat there, waiting for his next explosion.</p><p>A few minutes later, she heard him yell from his room.</p><p>"Why did you save me?"</p><p>She looked away from his door; she could not answer his question the way he wanted when she didn’t even have an answer for herself. She had to tramp down the urge to go to him and pull him to her, to hold him until he felt better. That’s what she would do for Sansa, but who knows what this man, this stranger would want instead. </p><p>She heard a knock on the front door and despite a strange sense of fear, she answered it.</p><p>On the other side stood a man taller than her, with some old scars on his face. He looked at her and grunted.</p><p>"Did that cunt make it home in one piece?"</p><p>He's not shouting, but she heard Jaime's voice from the hallway.</p><p>"He did. Now piss off."</p><p>The man brushed past her, and stood in their hallway, somehow keeping his dignity while talking to a door.</p><p>"Look here Lannister, your brother pays me to watch over you, and I don't give a shit if you die, but that man will never let me rest if anything happens to you, so either do the world a favor and end yourself or let me protect your worthless arse for you."</p><p>He stalked out the front door before turning back to face her.</p><p>"Good luck miss." He tipped his head to her before walking out for good.</p><p>
  <em> This is not what I signed up for </em>
</p><p>She gently closed the front door and gave herself a moment to gather her thoughts.</p><p>Her new roommate, who she only kind of sort of invited to live with her, comes home in a mood, slams two doors before screaming at her, then has some verbal screaming match with a man who would frighten the Stranger, and she's just expected to go along with it?</p><p>
  <em> Well fuck that </em>
</p><p>She knocked on Jaime's door, and was not at all surprised at his harsh "What?" that came from behind the door.</p><p>"When you've settled down, meet me in the living room. Roommate meeting."</p><p>***</p><p>His rage had petered out and now he was sulking. He was lying in bed, a grown man, with his arms crossed over his chest, pissed at Seaworth, pissed at Clegane, pissed at Bee, and Tyrion and his father and even Cersei, and on and on it went as he laid there and stewed.</p><p>He had screamed at her for an answer, and now he had to go out there and face her, and he just couldn't. She would look at him with pity, like everyone else did, and he'd just lash out again, and she'd ask him to leave.</p><p>He already saw their conversation and it was exhausting, and he was already so tired.</p><p>He'd wanted to be better, he'd tried to be better, but now he just kept seeing Seaworth's face as he fired him. What kind of doctor fires a patient? What kind of patient gets fired?</p><p>He grabbed his pillow and hurled it across the room. </p><p>
  <em> This is useless. If she's kicking me out, might as well happen now.  </em>
</p><p>He opened his door, and she was there in the living room, their living room. She looked up from her book and set it down with an almost ominous aura around her.</p><p>He sat next to her and she turned to him.</p><p>"What happened today?" she asked him.</p><p>He sighed. He would have been happier with shouts or cries, but no, that wasn't Bee, she would try to understand first.</p><p>"My doctor fired me," he said, shuddering at his own memories. "He said I wasn't doing anything to help myself, and I wasn't welcome in his office until I did."</p><p>She nodded. "And that man?"</p><p>He laughed, and she scoffed. "My bodyguard. I was upset and I ditched him at the doc's and walked home. He answers to my brother, and Tyrion's got a mean streak."</p><p>"You sure have made a mess of things."</p><p>She rolled her eyes at the scowl he gave her. "Look, you can't be here raging at me and slamming doors because you're angry at the men who attacked you."</p><p>She stood up and looked over him. "That is not OK, do you hear me?"</p><p>He gulped and nodded. In that moment he was reminded of his father, but Bee had the decency to at least believe he could be better. </p><p>"If you need to unwind, there's a gym a block away. Or get a job to take your mind off things. Or a hobby. Everyone has bad days, but you can control yourself."</p><p>It was not a question, but he nodded anyway. She sounded so cold, so unlike her, but he wasn't exactly himself either. He could stay, if he was better.</p><p>
  <em> Easy </em>
</p><p>He laughed at the thought, which just made her scowl more. "I'll be better." </p><p>He meant it too, he would be; he would get better, because those monsters are in prison, and despite their best efforts he was alive, he was alive to get himself better, because of <em> her. </em></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next chapter: Jaime starts his active healing</p><p>I just want to say, thank you for all your lovely comments. I'm so, so happy this story is finding an audience, and I hope you're all enjoying the story.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Jaime eats some crow. It's delicious.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He hated this. </p><p>
  <span>Clegane was in the car downstairs, and he was sitting outside Dr. Seaworth’s office just after his lunch hour, waiting for him to arrive so he could beg the man to take him back.</span>
</p><p>It had been a bad night; Bee had woken him up after his screams had woken her up. It was early, but too late for either of them to get back to sleep, so he’d made coffee for them and they drank in a silence only broken up by her yawns.</p><p>He saw the circles under her eyes as she left for the diner. She didn’t say anything, he knew she understood, but it was one thing for that to happen to him, but the walls were too thin for that to continue.</p><p>Seaworth saw him first.</p><p>“Mr. Lannister.”</p><p>It wasn’t a question, but it felt like one to Jaime. And it was <em> the </em> question; could he try to get better, to at least get to a point where he could sleep through the night and not wake up his overworked roommate.</p><p>“The men who attacked me were going to kill me. They jumped me in the elevator at The Rock, and dragged me to the tenth floor where they tortured me until a woman saved me. And if she hadn’t, I would be dead. And sometimes I wish she hadn’t. And I can’t sleep at night, because I keep thinking they are going to find me again, and when I do sleep, they have found me again, and she’s not there this time, and I don’t know what you can do to help me with this, but I need this to stop.”</p><p>It was word vomit, but once he started, he couldn’t stop, and it felt horrible, like throwing up something that burned him on the way out, but good too, like now his stomach could finally settle down. It was out of him, for better or worse.</p><p>“OK.”</p><p>That was all Dr. Seaworth said as he unlocked his office door and Jaime followed him inside.</p><p>“We can start you on some anti-anxiety medication, which will help, but I’ll warn you it can take a bit for us to find the right dosage. And I would recommend you increase your sessions to two times a week, but we can discuss that on Wednesday at your usual time.”</p><p>He handed Jaime a paper with his prescription on it, and he reached out and squeezed Jaime’s shoulder.</p><p>“This is a good step Mr. Lannister," he said. "This is how you get better.”</p><p>“Jaime,” he said. “Call me Jaime.”</p><p>***</p><p>“How’s the new roommate?” Sansa asked her, her blue eyes wide. Brienne had told her when he moved in, and Sansa had tried to hide her shock, but it hadn’t worked. It was shocking, Brienne would tell her, Jaime Lannister in her apartment was not something she ever expected. </p><p>
  <em> He’s loud, and big, and he’s so messed up, and he’s able to hide it all behind a face that is way, way too handsome.  </em>
</p><p>“It’s different,” Brienne said after too long a pause. “He’s no <em> you. </em>”</p><p>Sansa laughed and Brienne did too. They were not perfect roommates, Sansa loved stealing all the hot water with her long baths, and Brienne was way too fussy about mess, but they had had a rhythm and it had been nice to just live in it, and now it was gone.</p><p>“Well, good for you, you could use a bad roommate, so you can appreciate how good I was.”</p><p>Brienne threw a small piece of donut at her, and Sansa grinned again.</p><p>“How’s Margaery?”</p><p>Sansa blushed. “It’s wonderful,” she said. “Every day, I wake up next to her, and I think how lucky I am to be with her. And then I get to keep being with her. And her house is amazing, you’re gonna love it when you come to the housewarming party.”</p><p>Sansa cleared her throat and pulled something out of her bag. “This is a bit overdue, but it’s yours. For everything.”</p><p>Sansa stood up and kissed her on her temple. “But I have to get back to work, I’ll be late as it is. And I’ll send you the invite when we’ve settled on a date.”</p><p>And Sansa was off, leaving the cafe and her old friend behind. But that was Sansa, she hated drawn-out goodbyes, so she’d wait until she had to leave, and then just go.</p><p>Brienne opened the card Sansa had given her, and out came a check for $10,000 crowns.</p><p>Her jaw dropped, right there in the cafe. She must have looked utterly ridiculous, but she couldn’t believe it. </p><p>She opened the card, and there was Sansa’s pretty handwriting.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Brienne, </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I know, I shouldn’t have left like that, but I know you’d try to refuse my gift, but I won’t let you. I have the money now to pay you back for all the times you bought me food or let the rent slide or covered my share of the electric bill. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I kept track of it all, and this check is my way of letting you know that I never once forgot what you were doing for me. I needed your help, and you gave it freely, and I will be grateful for the rest of my life. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Love, Sansa </em>
</p><p> </p><p>She tried to hold back the tears, but it was no good, they spilled out of her despite her best efforts. All her life, she’d wanted someone to see her, and without even noticing, here was Sansa, looking out for her all along.</p><p>She pulled out her phone and sent her best friend a string of heart emojis, but left it at that. She’d drop the check at the bank, and she would be that much closer to school; Sansa had given her the gift she wanted the most.</p><p>***</p><p>Brienne arrived at home, their home, with a smile on her face. She deposited the check from Sansa, and like magic, she watched her savings balance rise above her goal. It had been three years of savings, three years of eating at home when she dreamed of pizza, but she was there. </p><p>Tomorrow, she could give her notice at the diner, if she wanted to (she wouldn't, classes didn't start for months and it didn't feel right to do nothing), but she could. She still had to apply, but they'd take her, that was the easy part. But she could leave anytime she wanted, and it was freeing.</p><p>That's why she didn't notice, she told herself later. She was so happy, a spontaneous jolt of joy hit her and she decided to ask Jaime if he wanted to celebrate with her, and headed straight for his room, and didn't know <em> he </em> was there until the bat connected with her head.</p><p>
  <em> Ramsey </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Yes, Chekhov's psychopath has gone off.</p><p>Up next: It's gonna be OK. I promise you, it will be OK.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Chekhov's psychopath goes off</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Let's talk about Ramsey.</p><p>Yes, he's here, as is the last bit of violence in the story. But I wanted to say a couple of things first:</p><p>1) I know it's Ramsey, so I tried to keep the descriptions of violence to a minimum, cuz no one wants to read what that guy will come up with.</p><p>2) There is no sexual violence in the story.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jaime left Seaworth's office in his usual state, grumpy and irritable, but this time there was something else with him too, a lightness he wasn't used to, a feeling that maybe things could get better, that it wouldn't be just <em> this </em>forever.</p><p>He got into his car, and Clegane nodded at him but said nothing like usual. Jaime wanted to say something to the man, something kind for once in his life, but he didn't know the words. </p><p>He wanted to thank him, but like Bee, Clegane was too closed off for that, too held back by whatever code he followed that wouldn't accept something like that.</p><p>But Jaime knew the man also liked silences, so that's what he did instead, stared at his phone and looked up at the gym Bee had mentioned, keeping himself quiet as his driver headed to a pharmacy. </p><p>The driver made a sharp turn, and Jaime's stomach roiled. His head started to pound, and while he'd never had a migraine, he imagined this is what it felt like.</p><p>He rubbed his temples, trying to soothe his brain, when he heard a voice whispering in his head.</p><p>
  <em> Save her </em>
</p><p>His head began to throb, and he couldn't see anything in the car anymore, couldn't see anything but a face, a withered face carved into a tree, bleeding red tears. The lips didn't move, but he heard it speak.</p><p>
  <em> Save her </em>
</p><p>He gasped as he saw her, saw Bee in her bed, lying down, but covered in blood, the entire room was decorated in what should be inside her. He didn't want to look, didn't want to see her like that, but his feet moved forward anyway, and he saw, he saw, he saw …</p><p>In a snap, he was back, he could see and hear and feel, and Clegane had his hand on Jaime's back, and it was comforting, but he couldn't let go of that image, of seeing her body in absolute agony.</p><p>
  <em> Save her </em>
</p><p>The driver had stopped at a light, traffic was insane at this time of day, and Jaime bolted out the door, Clegane only seconds behind him. He ran and ran and ran.</p><p>***</p><p>"You're not listening."</p><p>He said the words with a psychotic smile as he looked over her. He had tied her to her bed, and she had tried to get free of the ropes, but her strength had left her when the bat hit her.</p><p>"I have to know where my Sansa is. I need to find her, I need her."</p><p>He had a knife, and he kept twirling it in his hands while she watched.</p><p>"Do you understand, I need her. Tell me where she is."</p><p>He pressed the knife into her belly, almost gently, just poking her a little, leaving just a tiny drop of blood on her torso.</p><p>He grinned at her like he wanted to devour her.</p><p>"It will only get worse."</p><p>He pressed the knife into the same spot again, a bit harder, and she gasped, but she wouldn't speak.</p><p>Ramsey had beat Sansa, again and again, and when she had finally found the courage to leave, she'd had to run away from her family, from her life, just to get away from him. Brienne would not send her back there, not ever.</p><p><em> The knife is so sharp</em>.</p><p>And it was as it pierced her again. </p><p>She thought of her tree man, tried to focus on the image she'd gotten of his face all those weeks ago. She thought he'd been crying blood, that's what it had looked like, but no, that wasn't it. He's crying time, the endless loop of it, crying it out and drinking it in, and he'll never be free of it, just like me. </p><p>She couldn't help her tears, because she knew she wouldn't talk, she could keep Sansa safe with her own life, and she knew that that's what it would cost.</p><p>The Bunny Knight would be unfinished, Jaime would be alone again, but Sansa must survive this man. </p><p>She remembered watching some dumb romcom with her the first week after Sansa had moved in, and Sansa was so into it, and Brienne felt brave enough to tell her that she loved it too, even if it was stupid, maybe because it was stupid, and they giggled for days over that flick. And it became their Thursday tradition; even after she started dating Margaery, Thursdays were for them.</p><p>She held onto that, tried to keep herself there as she felt the knife slide fully into her body and she screamed.</p><p>***</p><p>He felt her scream.</p><p>He ran faster. Clegane called out to him, but he couldn't stop, he was almost home, just two blocks to go.</p><p>It was like a dream, he was running to her, like he was running from something, and in a flash, he was there, outside their door, clutching his side and gasping for breath.</p><p>He'd never run so fast in his entire life, or for so long, but he hoped that it would be fast enough.</p><p>He sent a silent prayer of thanks to whichever god was listening as he opened the door and it didn't squeak. He left it open, eventually Clegane would catch up to him, and he needed to listen. Jaime quickly pressed the panic button on his wrist; it would take them a while to get here, but at least they would be on the way.</p><p>He walked to the hallway, to their rooms, and he heard laughter and his blood chilled. He heard a soft cry, and he looked around, trying to find a weapon when he saw the bat.</p><p>He laughed, in his head he was dying of laughter.</p><p>They never talked about how they had met, in truth it was still too early for both of them to talk about that night, but he'd watched her dispatch his kidnappers, and he had so wanted to tell that he loved her for using his bat, the bat he kept on the tenth floor storage area for when he needed a break, needed to break something, and she had used it to save his life.</p><p>He had begged Tyrion to get it back from him, and somehow, even being stuck half a world away, his little brother had done it, leaving it for him wrapped in paper on his first night home from the hospital all those months ago. He'd found a spot for it in Bee's hall closet, and now it was here, and he picked it up to return the favor.</p><p>He opened her bedroom door slowly, and luck was with him, her tormentor was facing her, not the door, and he was playing with a knife in her belly, and not looking behind him.</p><p>Jaime did not wait another second.</p><p>He swung, aiming for the bastard's head, and hit a home run on his skull. He didn't even have time to turn back before he slumped over and fell to the floor.</p><p>"Lannister!"</p><p>He heard Clegane's shout, and heard the man's thunderous footfalls as he got closer to her bedroom.</p><p>"You rich cunts are all the -"</p><p>He lost his words as he took in the scene, Brienne bleeding on her bed, and the man unconscious on the floor while Jaime stood there frozen, looking at Bee. </p><p>"Untie her Lannister, and give me the rope, I'll take care of this fucker."</p><p>Jaime did as he was told, his fingers uncoiling the rope around her wrists with no hesitation. He threw the rope to Clegane, and he heard the man grunting as he tied up her attacker.</p><p>Bee had passed out, and her face looked pained, and he knew that face, he saw it in the mirror every day. She had a ring of bruises around her neck, but he could see her breathing, and he was calm, he could fake being calm if that's what it took to keep her asleep.</p><p>He gently rubbed her forehead, hoping that her brain had sent her somewhere pleasant to rest.</p><p>He looked at the knife in her belly, and he reached for it, it did not belong inside her, but Clegane stood up and knocked his hand away.</p><p>"Let the docs do that, idiot."</p><p>Clegane pulled his phone out and called for an ambulance. The cops were on their way already, but Jaime found he couldn’t speak.</p><p>He sat down next to Bee and held her hand. He saw the image of her that had kept him running, and he shivered, but he brushed it aside. He had made it, she was hurt, but she wasn’t beyond help.</p><p>
  <em> She’ll be OK, like me.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> She’ll be OK. </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Jaime's right, she's gonna be OK.</p><p>Up next: Brienne recovers</p><p>Fun medical fact: Clegane's right; if you find yourself stabbed or impaled with something, your instinct is gonna be to pull it out, but don't. Get to a hospital, and let them take care of it.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Brienne begins her recovery</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So, that last chapter was a bit of a ride, but we're slowing things down now (and thanks for all the lovely comments on the last chapter in particular; it was a rough one). </p><p>And it probably goes without saying, but I really don't know medical stuff, so just kind of making things up from here to fit the narrative.</p><p>I've updated the chapter count, and I think that's the final count, but we'll see.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Brienne woke up slowly.</p><p>Her head was fuzzy, and she was sleeping on her back, which she never did. She felt stiff everywhere as she opened her eyes, and fluorescent lights above her bore into her eyes, so she squeezed them shut again.</p><p>She had thirty seconds of peace before she remembered.</p><p>Her eyes flew open as she sat straight up, tugging on the wires attached to her. There was a steady beeping sound in the room that roared to life as she stood up, trying to get away, trying to hide from Ramsey.</p><p>“Bee.”</p><p>She heard him, his nickname for her, and she turned to see him standing in the corner. His hair was rumpled, his clothes wrinkled, like he’d been sleeping here.</p><p>“You’re awake.”</p><p>He dipped his head and smiled before walking to her and hugging her.</p><p>“You made it.”</p><p>She thought about wrapping her arms around him, holding him like she was being held, but she couldn’t get her body to obey. He squeezed her against his chest, and she gasped, even if she didn’t want him to let go, but it hurt so much.</p><p>“Sorry,” he said as he hastily let her go. He grabbed her hand and led her back to bed, where she climbed in, figuring that while she was still confused, she felt better lying down.</p><p>She tried to speak, grabbing her throat, the words were so hard to get out. </p><p>“Sansa?”</p><p>She pushed the words out, and it burned, it felt like she was ripping her throat open, but he nodded. “She’s fine. She’s been to see you a couple of times, but I’ll call her for you.”</p><p>She wanted to ask about <em> him </em> but she didn’t want to hurt herself to say his name, so instead she pointed to the bandage on her side and looked at him.</p><p>“He, um, “ Jaime paused, and she wanted to scream at him, but she couldn’t, so she just laid there. “He stabbed your liver, and the surgeons had to remove some of it, but they told me it will grow back, so all things considered...”</p><p>Brienne exhaled sharply, the irritation had to be on her face. She mimed stabbing herself, and Jaime blanched, but he nodded.</p><p>“They’ve arrested him, but he had some injuries, so he’s here, but on a different floor. He’s cuffed to the bed, and there are two cops and Clegane watching his room, he’s not going anywhere.”</p><p>The machine told them both that her heart had started racing again, and he grabbed her hand and squeezed. </p><p>“It’s OK Bee. He won’t get to you, not again.”</p><p>She closed her eyes, tried to focus on her breathing.</p><p>But she nodded.</p><p>“I’m going to grab your doctor, and she can explain to you what’s going on, but I’ve heard that now that you’ve woken up, you should be able to go home soon.”</p><p>He stood up and smoothed her hair, tucking a strand behind her ear. She wondered if she had done that for him, she couldn't remember, but she hoped she had, she’d never felt anything so tender.</p><p>“I’ll be back.”</p><p>She was asleep before she could find out if he did.</p><p>***</p><p>She was home.</p><p>Brienne walked into her home, and it still felt like home. This is where she and Sansa would stay up late with hot chocolate and crackers, pouring over bridal magazines until the sun came up.</p><p>She'd been gone a little more than a week, even if she had just woken up two days ago. It hurt a little to think of all that time lost, just gone forever, so she pushed those thoughts aside.</p><p>But she was home now and she couldn’t help smiling. She had thought about waiting for Jaime to bring her home, but he had been out when she got word she could leave, and she didn't want to stay there any longer. She had texted him from the cab to let him know, but she could almost feel his disappointment, which was ridiculous, they were only roommates.</p><p>
  <em> Only roommates </em>
</p><p>She walked down the hallway, and she opened the door and saw her drawing table, where she'd gotten a ridiculous idea but started drawing it anyway, and piece by piece it was coming together.</p><p>She sat on her bed, and the mattress felt different, and she knew why, Jaime had already told her he'd bought her a new one while she was in the hospital. She smiled because he had his problems, but he was so thoughtful too.</p><p>She rubbed her neck a bit, tried to whisper, but it was too much. Doctor Wilding, a young woman with dazzling red hair and a fierce attitude told her her throat would be fine, just don't push it and give it time to heal. She didn't remember Ramsey choking her, but she'd seen the bruises, he must have done it after she passed out.</p><p>She shuddered, but she smiled too. He'd broken his probation to come down here and attack her, and now he would be in prison for a very, very long time. Sansa could go home now, she'd already made plans for a trip to see her family, and she didn't ever have to be afraid again. It wouldn't stop every trick her mind could play on her, but it was a good start.</p><p>"Bee?"</p><p>She stood up to greet him at her bedroom door, and he was there with a bundle of flowers in his hand.</p><p>"I meant to be here, but I thought you might like these."</p><p>It was a pretty bouquet of lilies, tulips and chrysanthemums, and he'd even bought one that came in a vase. She took it and put it on her drawing table before whipping out her phone and typing "thanks" in her note app.</p><p>"It's no problem."</p><p>He stood around, so nervous, he kept shifting back and forth on his feet. </p><p>She pulled out her phone again and typed "I'm tired."</p><p>"Yes, of course, I'll let you rest."</p><p>He moved toward her, reached out his arm to her, but then pulled back. Of course he just covered it with a grin, and then left her to sleep, which she did, so very grateful to be home and back in her bed.</p><p>***</p><p>She woke to see Sansa sitting on her bed, holding her hand, stroking her skin ever so slightly. Jaime had assured her that Sansa was OK, but she kept missing her in the brief times she was awake at the hospital, and she felt such a relief to finally see her. She could feel the tears already, but she willed them away; she didn’t want Sansa getting upset.</p><p>"Brienne?" she whispered her name, said the word so very softly, like her name was precious and delicate, which was the exact opposite of who Brienne was.</p><p>"You're OK?"</p><p>Sansa had been crying, her face was already red, and Brienne could see the tears streaking her makeup, but her friend didn't care about that.</p><p>"Jaime says you can't speak?"</p><p>Brienne pulled out her phone and typed "Not yet" and more tears fell on to Sansa's lap.</p><p>But she took a breath and held it in, sucking all her sorrow and apologies back into her body.</p><p>"He won't get away with hurting you." Sansa said the words coldly, with a venom that had not been there before. "His father may be the police chief in Winterfell, but the police chief here is not willing to ever let that monster free."</p><p>So far, Brienne had been spared a chat with the King's Landing PD, mainly because she couldn't speak, and truthfully, she wasn't looking forward to it. </p><p>Ramsey was a dreadful young man, who had needed intervention when he had been a dreadful boy, and had never once gotten it. She was not sorry he was going to be shut away for good, but she wasn't happy about it either.</p><p>
  <em> What does it say about me that I don't relish his suffering? Am I really so weak? </em>
</p><p>She squeezed Sansa's hand and gave her a pained smile. She would feel how she would feel, and if Sansa felt differently, that was her choice. Sansa didn't need to know.</p><p>"Hungry" she typed and Sansa hugged her. </p><p>"I have to go, Mom is flying down today to meet Margaery, and I have to pick her up." She was herself again with those words, and Brienne felt tears pricking her eyes again.</p><p>Brienne had suffered, it was true, her body would be healing for a long time, but Sansa was fine, and that would help her get better. </p><p>"Rest now," Sansa said before hugging her one last time and kissing her temple. "And when you're well, you are going to tell me why you're bunking with Jaime Lannister and didn't tell me."</p><p>Sansa winked at her before leaving. Brienne sighed to herself. She’d kept them apart for many reasons, but there would be no putting her off now.</p><p>There was a soft knock on her door, and Jaime came in with a glass of something that was probably food at one point, but wasn’t anymore.</p><p>“Sansa said you were hungry, and well, doctor’s orders,” he said as he handed her her liquified dinner. </p><p>She was expecting something harsh or bitter, but instead it was sweet, far too sweet for her liking, but she drank as much as she could before handing it back.</p><p>“I’m sorry, I’ll do better next time.”</p><p>She smiled at him, and she meant it, even if the drink was too much for her, he wasn’t. No one had cared for her like this since she was 14. She’d gotten the flu, and her dad had used his vacation time to help her through it. They’d never been closer, before or since, and Jaime wasn’t her dad, but the feeling was so familiar, she almost expected him to call her kiddo and ruffle her hair.</p><p>“The doctor also said you’d need a lot of rest, so take these, but swallow gently.”</p><p>He handed her some pills and a bottle of water, and it hurt to swallow, but she could feel the pills taking effect already.</p><p>She laid down, and he pulled her blanket up to her shoulders. And like before, he tucked her hair behind her ear.</p><p>“Sweet dreams Bee.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next chapter: Jaime and Brienne grow closer, and Cersei stops by.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Recovery and revelations, plus Cersei (and Tyrion!).</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The next day, Brienne got out of bed, like normal, she did her vocal exercises as her doctor instructed, and she had some more, slightly less gross liquid food.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was strange to not have to be anywhere at all, but Jaime had been the one to tell her she'd been fired from the diner, and it hurt, but it was OK too. She liked the people there, and she would miss them, and the extra money would have been nice, but she needed to heal.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What was different was </span>
  <em>
    <span>him.</span>
  </em>
  <span> He was suddenly everywhere, watching her, watching over her.  She kept blushing under his gaze, and he'd laugh at her, but not unkindly. It was comforting, he was a comfort, and it was an entirely new experience for her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Despite what Sansa believed, she had dated. She had a month last year where she had been on four first dates, four dates with four different men. But that's all it had been. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yes, she had a mirror, she knew what she looked like, and men seemed to feel like she should be grateful for any attention from them, positive or negative. And Brienne may not like the way she looked, but she would be damned if she was going to put up with that treatment from someone she chose to let into her life.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And yet, here was a man being kind. To her. For no reason she could figure out. He had fallen asleep on the couch next to her, and she turned to look at him, and she felt her heart flutter.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>No, no, no, please no</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She raised her hand to touch his hair, but pulled back, but that's all she needed to know. Her traitorous heart had turned to him, and she had never hated the thing more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She slowly stood up, a bit unsteady, and walked to her room and quietly closed the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She breathed in and out, again and again, trying to push thoughts of his smiling face out of her mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just like before with Renly, it didn't work. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It never worked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaime was making "dinner" for Bee when he heard the knock on the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His blood chilled, he knew that knock, soft but pointed, a knock that will not be ignored.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shook his head and answered because he should have known that his sister would track him down eventually.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He opened the door, and he smiled at her, a grim smile, and she smirked back as she pushed past him into his home.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She looked so much like their father right at that moment, her sneer at his surroundings was a mirror image of what his father looked like the last time he'd seen him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"When are you going to stop slumming with this peasant and come home?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was no bite to her words, no heat, which was so unlike her. She said these awful words mechanically, like she'd been practicing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hello Cersei, how have you been the last few months? I'm good, all things considered."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She didn't even look at him, didn't send back a cutting remark, and he really looked at her, and he saw the dark circles under her eyes, and the slight sag in her shoulders.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Father wants you to come back."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She whispered the words to him, and she almost sounded like the sister she had been when they were younger. What had happened to that girl who loved and hated with fervor, who wanted to experience everything so she could decide how she felt about it. When had she decided to just hate everything the way their father did?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's time Jaime."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She looked like she was going to scream, and if he was a different sort of man, maybe the same man he'd been before his attack, he would have said yes to make her feel better, because that's what he was for.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Cers, I'm not coming back. I told father that already, so you are welcome to visit me here, but don't come back to ask me that again. Not ever."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked her head on, and almost like a switch went off in her brain, she smiled and threw her arms around him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thank you, thank you, thank you." She said the words too fast, and she was squeezing him too tightly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She pulled back from him and straightened out her clothes. Now she looked like the queen she pretended to be. Now she was herself again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'll tell him." She nodded at him and sent him another smile, a genuine one before she let herself out.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Sisters</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She was the oldest, four minutes separated them, and he remembered her absolute rage when their father failed to notice her achievements, or praise her, or even look at her. She wanted his love so badly, and Tywin hadn't cared while Jaime was around, and now, maybe she'll get the peace she wanted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaime doubted it, but that wasn't his problem. He had to figure out the best way to make liquid chicken dinner appetizing. Bee was counting on him after all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For the first time in a week, Brienne sat at her drawing desk. She held the pencil in her hand, and she tried, she tried so hard, to think of something to draw.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before her attack, she’d finished her latest page for the Bunny Knight; Amelia fought her mentor in a melee, and she’d outlasted him, more by luck than skill, but luck happened, good and bad, and it was her turn for some good luck. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Brienne had painstakingly drawn Amelia’s face, shock and joy in equal measure, as she saw her mentor fall and had to turn to face the next opponent, the giant badger that would knock her out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was happy with it, she was happy she finished anything, but today, she held her pen, and she could not think of what should come next. Would she win the next melee? Would she get close, then be shut down by another knight? Would that knight be mean to her, or try to tell her where she went wrong?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She wanted to throw her pencil across the room, but she had a flash come through her head, and she had an idea.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She started outlining a bed, with a hurt Bunny Knight lying in it. Her ear was bent the wrong way, and she had a bandage across her head, while her mentor stood over her with a bowl of soup.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She had not heard him come in, and she jumped as he cleared his throat behind her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're drawing?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He walked up to her, leaning over her shoulder to look at her work, and she couldn't help her blush as he leaned over her, his chest pressing into her back.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Please stop, please stop now</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>But she still couldn't speak, so she let him look over her shoulder like that, let him keep touching her like that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's great Bee," he whispered. "Will Amelia be OK though?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As much as she could, she turned to look at him, and he was concerned, genuinely concerned about a fictional bunny that barely existed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She nodded, and it hurt too, but she had to tell him. Her Bunny Knight would be fine, eventually.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He put his hand on her shoulder and squeezed. "That's what matters."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He squeezed again before he walked away, leaving her and Amelia alone once again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaime knew that eventually he would have to find something to do with his time, but for now, he found himself happy, really, truly happy, to just look after Bee.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’d come up with the idea of making post-it notes for her, just simply phrases she could point to as needed so she didn’t have to pull out her phone every time she wanted to say No to something (she had told him shaking her head hurt too much).</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And while yes, she didn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>need</span>
  </em>
  <span> his help to change her bandages, but by helping her, he found out both that she was ticklish and that her freckles were everywhere. He felt a slight stirring in his lower half at the memory of the soft skin on her stomach, but he brushed it aside, it was just a physical reaction, nothing more. She had been a good sport about the shakes he made her, and he had to find a good one for her, something she would enjoy, not just tolerate because she had no choice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’d found a promising website for dieters when he heard a knock. Annoyed, he opened the door without putting his phone down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His brother stood before him, clutching a bottle of expensive wine and two glasses.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I come in?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaime rolled his eyes. “Did Tywin send you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tyrion shook his head. “None of that talk tonight.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaime smiled and held the door open and Tyrion headed to the living room where he promptly settled on the couch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We have to be a bit quieter than normal, Bee is sleeping, and she insisted on sleeping without meds tonight, and I don't want to wake her up."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tyrion gave him a look, but Jaime looked away. He didn't have time for his brother's games.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tyrion handed him a drink, some red wine with a full bodied flavor that Jaime couldn't hope to guess. Tyrion finished his first glass and began his second well before Jaime was even accustomed to the taste.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I have to tell you something, and you're not gonna like it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaime looked at his brother, and he looked pained, and for the first time Jaime realized he was using the wine to shore himself up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"If it's about Tywin cutting me off, don't worry about it. We'll be fine."</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Yes, we will.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"No, it's not about him. It's about your attack."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He'd been so focused on Bee, so concerned for her, he'd forgotten. No, not forgotten, he couldn't forget, but he could push it down, push it all aside so well that he had nights here and there that weren’t plagued by nightmares, a tiny miracle just for him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And now it was back, trying to claw its way into his brain. He took a drink to steady himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What about it?" He snapped the words at Tyrion, who didn't deserve it, not really, but this was his brother's idea, not his.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I thought and thought about it, rolling it around in my head, and considering where you were grabbed, and where they took you, the only thing that made sense was that it was an inside job."</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Stop, stop, stop</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He had to hear it, he needed to hear this, but he didn't want to. He wanted to rewind the last 20 minutes and ignore his brother's knock for all time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Once I had that, the rest fell into place. Someone hired them to hurt you, to hurt our family, and whoever did it had access to our security system."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It made sense, of course it made sense, except it didn't, who in his own family would do this to him?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And with a bit of pressure, I found out who."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tyrion stared at his empty glass, before filling it again, his third or fifth, Jaime had lost count of how many as Tyrion's words washed over him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It doesn't have to go further than me. I can punish the wicked without involving you, and you won't need to even know about it. Or I can do nothing, just walk away entirely."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tyrion looked so sad at that moment, but Jaime was not there. He felt his old rage resurface, and he carefully set his wine glass down, fearing what would happen to anything he held right now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Tell me," Jaime said, his voice dark and low, his fists already clenched.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Are you sure?" Tyrion asked, his voice so soft, like he was a child again, trying not to upset his older brother.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Am I?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaime thought of everything he'd been through, and what was still left to go, everything he couldn't shove away, no matter how much he tried. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just last night, after a few nights of peace, he'd woken up in a cold sweat, his heart racing, those vile images of Bee hurt dancing in his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he saw Bee again, the first time he'd seen her, a blonde giant, smiting his enemies the same way she would down pesky flies, and then her hand on his head, her touch so gentle after the carnage she'd inflicted.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Would it be worth it, his old life along with never knowing Bee?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>If he hadn't been attacked, would there even be a Bee to save? Would he have acted on that vision without knowing her first?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She would have died to protect Sansa, he knew that without having to ask, and he wouldn't have even had a chance to know her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He closed his eyes as that thought washed over him. A world without Bee, what a terrifying place to have to live.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Tell me," he said, the edge out of his voice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Our idiot cousin Lancel gave Cersei's boyfriend the keys to the security system, and he hired the thugs to attack you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"To kill me," Jaime whispered. "That was the plan."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tyrion nodded solemnly. "Lancel didn't think so, but he was never someone to ask too many questions."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And Cersei?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt cold inside at his traitorous mind for thinking that, but he thought of her, not visiting him, her despair at the idea of him coming back to the family business. His attack was something their father would think of, and Cersei wanted to be him more than anything.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I can't be certain, but I don't think she was involved. I told her about Euron, and she dumped instead of thanking him, which was fairly surprising."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaime nodded. It's what an innocent person would do, and also what a guilty person who wanted to appear innocent would do. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What would you do to them?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tyrion smiled, and he looked so much like their father that Jaime shuddered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"For Lancel, I would just let him stew. He didn't know what he was doing, and he's just an idiot, he can't help it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaime laughed, a bitter, mean laugh that Tyrion joined in on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Euron, well, I'd ruin him."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was no hint of a smile, only steel in his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Do it," Jaime said. "And never mention him to me again."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tyrion stood up and offered his brother his hand, and Jaime took it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's done."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tyrion left the bottle for Jaime, who poured it down the sink. Bee wasn't a drinker, and Jaime decided that now, neither was he.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shuddered once more as he remembered the cold, determined look on his brother's face. But that was not his concern.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He picked up his phone, browsing recipes until he found one he thought she would like. He'd send out for the groceries in the morning before she woke up; it would make a nice surprise.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Up next: Feelings! All the feelings.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Feelings and more feelings.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Brienne’s voice was gone for a long time, until it came back all at once.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>One morning, she was trying to signal for Jaime to leave her room so she could get dressed, and he kept smirking and not leaving. She loved how attentive he was most days, but that day, she’d been feeling more like her old self, and her old self didn’t feel like getting dressed in front of her crush.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dammit Jaime, just get out.” Her words were harsh and low, but they were her words, and it didn’t hurt to speak them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bee!” He held her in his arms and started jumping, which didn’t feel great, but she liked the feel of him around her, so she let it go.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At some point, she was going to have to do something about that, ask him to move out, or just start pushing him away, but for now, she was recovering still, she had an excuse to be close to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He let her go, and his smile, it was so big, a smile just for her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Say something,” he said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Get out,” she said with a small laugh. “I need to get dressed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He playfully rolled his eyes at her, but he left. She massaged her throat, out of habit, but it didn’t hurt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was healed. She still had her stitches and that scar they left behind to remind her, but it wasn’t so bad. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Who else besides me is going to see it?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She brushed the self pity aside, she could already hear Jaime bouncing around with energy in the living room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We should celebrate,” he said as she left her room. “If you can eat, I can order us some real food.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” she croaked. “That sounds great. But soft foods. And no smoothies!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was already on the couch, phone in hand, looking up restaurants, and she heard him laugh softly. “Yes, yes, I’ll find something.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Brienne smiled as she sat next to him. She had no doubt he would.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It started slowly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She couldn’t work right now (or start looking), doctor’s orders, and it was a bit tiring to go out (and she was irrationally worried about her stitches opening), so they tended to stay home and watch movies.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bee was surprised he wanted to, she assumed he would want to go out, spend all night in bars or hitting up clubs to scope out starlets.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He laughed at her when she finally admitted that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now, I can’t say I haven’t done that, but it was only because my brother needed a wingman. And anyway, Clegane wouldn't like it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was true, Clegane groused anytime Jaime had to go somewhere with a lot of people. And it was probably less safe having all those people around him. But he didn’t want to go like that at all, ever again if he was being honest, and well, she didn’t need to know that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And this is much more fun.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And it was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They’d order take out, and Jaime would pick a movie for them, because Brienne was afraid he wouldn’t like what she would pick out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>One night, on a whim, he’d picked a suspense movie about a little boy trying to solve a murder after he sees a ghost reenact the crime. It sounded interesting to him, and it was, but Bee found it downright frightening, and she grabbed his hand during the scary parts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And he liked the way her hand felt in his. Her hands were big, a bit rough, but it was a pleasant roughness. He couldn’t tell her, but he liked that movies frightened her, because it was such a fun flaw. She’d face down would-be murderers, no problem, but a jump scare rattled her like nothing else.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And he kept picking movies like that, and she never asked him to stop, she just kept reaching for his hand when she needed him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And one night, she picked the movie, a sweet rom-com that Jaime liked in spite of himself, and while he swore her to secrecy about it, he grabbed her hand when the couple finally connected enough to kiss for the first time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then, one random day, their routine stopped.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He came home from grocery shopping, and she wasn’t there. He wasn’t worried, he would never worry about her, she can take care of herself (he reminded himself of that over and over), but she wasn’t picking up her phone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And he knew it was nothing to get concerned about, Bee was Bee, she would be fine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he sat in his room and he stewed, telling himself he wasn’t worried, and getting angrier every minute that she wasn’t here. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She came home, finally, she’d been gone for hours, and she was dressed in business clothes he’d never seen, carrying a big case, and somehow, that made him angrier than anything else.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where have you been?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She jumped at his words, at the venom in his voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I had an interview for school,” she said, her voice still a little harsh. She had recovered, but she wasn’t 100 percent yet. “It went really well, they couldn’t say for sure that I’m in, but I think I’m gonna make it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her smile was so small, but he knew how much that meant to her, how much she had gone through to get here.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It still didn’t make up for what she’d done.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You could have left a note for me. You could have texted. It’s what friends do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She looked like he had hit her. He would shout at his siblings, and they always shouted back, until finally one of them would run out of steam, and that’s who lost. That’s how Lannisters fight, and as Jaime watched her eyes water, he remembered too late that Bee wasn’t a Lannister.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t,” she said, looking away from him, trying to calm herself. “I didn’t think you would notice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His nostrils flared. “Well, I did.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He left the words there, neither of them saying anything. She put her case on the counter and walked back to her room, shutting the door quietly, shutting him out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  <span>An hour and a half later, he knocked on her door, a wine bottle tucked under his arm, glasses in his hands. It had taken him a while to find a wine shop, but he needed something, anything, to show her how sorry he was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She opened the door, in a nightgown, and the look she gave him, he couldn’t figure it out. She looked shocked, but pleased too, her face had gone a blotchy red to match the wine he’d brought.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jaime?” She said his name like a question, almost like a prayer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m an ass.” It was true, he could admit it to her, to himself. “Forgive me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She stepped out of her doorway, holding the door open for him, inviting him in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He carefully set the glasses on her wobbly nightstand, trying to focus on not spilling any, telling himself that he’ll buy her a new one so this doesn’t happen again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He handed her a glass and took the other, clinking them together before taking a sip.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are we toasting?” she asked, a hint of amusement in her voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Forgiveness for boorish behavior,” he said. “And art school.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She smiled and took another sip.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“To art school.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She shuddered at the taste, it was pretty strong, but it had been a recommendation from Tyrion, and he had said it had been a great year for this little vineyard. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And if anyone would know, it would be him</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She set the glass on the floor, and smiled weakly at him. “It’s good, but it’s a lot. And I can’t have too much anyway.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I am an idiot</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He shook his head and sat on her bed, sloshing the wine onto his shirt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I forgot, you’re not supposed to drink with your meds,” he said. “I can’t even apologize correctly.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knocked back what was left of the wine like it was a shot, and his throat burned, but he didn’t care. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt the bed shift next to him as she sat down. “A little is OK, Dr. Wilding said, as long as it was just a little. And two sips won’t hurt me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sighed in relief, and set the glass down, and looked at her. She did look fine, he was the one looking like a sloppy drunk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jaime, why were you so upset?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He tried to pull himself back, and he could feel the intense anger, but the why was eluding him. But she was looking at him with </span>
  <em>
    <span>those eyes</span>
  </em>
  <span> and he had to tell her something.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s stupid, but I was expecting you, and you weren’t here, and I was thinking of all these terrible things that could happen, and I was upset. And then you come home hours later, and you were happy, and it annoyed me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wished he would die, right here, so he didn’t have to look at her again after that. He hadn’t known what he would say, and that was all true, but it was too true, too much, he shouldn’t put all of that on her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He expected her to be horrified, but instead she laughed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You were worried about me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was not a question; he knew it was the truth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was looking away from him, that blush back on her face. He reached out to her, gently pulling her face toward him, stroking her cheek as he did.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was worried about you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She bit her lip and closed her eyes as he kept his hand on her face. He should have pulled his hand back, he knew that, but he couldn’t do it, he couldn’t let her go now that he had touched her. She bent her neck, pressing her head into his hand, and now he couldn’t pull away even if he wanted to, because she didn't want him to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Instead, he pulled her toward him and kissed her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her lips were not soft; they were chapped and rough, but it was exhilarating to kiss her. She melted against him, and he kissed her, again and again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She pulled away first. There was so much fear in her eyes, but he stood up, pulled her up with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want this?” he whispered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She did not speak. She reached for his shirt, lifted it off him. She reached out to touch his chest, and he felt sparks as her fingers gently trailed his pecks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He reached for her nightgown, but she took his hands and pushed them back. She pulled the gown over her head, and he saw all of her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She had been an athlete, she had told him, and while she mainly just ran now, he could see her muscles had not left her. Every part of her was muscled and strong, even her scar just made her look more badass.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want this?” she whispered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He reached out and put his hands on her hips, pulling her to him. He kissed her again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was no more need for words.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Funny story about this chapter: I was writing the scene with their argument, and as I was writing, I was thinking, huh, what's going to happen next, when it hit me that, oh, these two are gonna bone like right now. Hehehe, the writing habits of a pantser. And I did model their love scene on 'that' scene, because it's not great, but I do like the awkwardness of it, even if they both really deserved some tenderness too.</p><p>And the movie that Jaime and Brienne watch is the classic "Lady in White." It's so, so good, but I do not recommend watching it when you're 6 years old, because you'll love it, but it will make no sense. :)</p><p>Up next, the aftermath.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The aftermath</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em> That should not have happened </em>
</p><p>She woke up next to him, in her bed, the bed where he...where they...his arm was draped across her, apparently he liked to sleep on his stomach.</p><p>
  <em> I shouldn’t know that. He shouldn’t be here at all for me to know that. </em>
</p><p>It had been nice. No, that wasn’t right; it had been wonderful. He had kissed her everywhere, up and down, and he hadn’t stopped even when he was inside her. </p><p>She blushed as she remembered the feel of his tongue, tracing a path of freckles down her back, or how she had ridden him after he’d told her how to do it, or how she’d wanted to scream in joy when he held her. A day ago, like many before it, she’d been convinced she would die untouched and unloved, and now she’d lost count of how many times she’d already been with the golden god in her bed.</p><p>No, wonderful wasn’t a good enough word.</p><p>She looked at him, and he looked peaceful as he slept next to her, but she felt her heart clench at the sight of him.</p><p>She was sore, but still, she felt her center start to warm, and she did what she could to tamp that down.</p><p>She slowly eased herself out of bed; she would gladly give him her body again and again, but she would be damned if she had to wake up to see him looking at her with surprise or disgust.</p><p>No, she wouldn’t do that to herself.</p><p>She curled up on the couch, pulling a blanket over herself, trying to forget what shouldn’t have happened.</p><p>***</p><p>Jaime could still taste her. He smiled at the memory of Bee, <em> Bee, </em> underneath him, Bee on top of him, the way she melted when she came. She had shyly, softly told him that that had been her first time, and he'd kissed her deeply, because it didn't matter at all.</p><p>He smirked to himself as he reached for her, but it faded when he felt just her sheets.</p><p>He got up and threw on his pants. He could hear her in the kitchen, making coffee he hoped as he yawned. He had not gotten a lot of sleep last night, the thought bringing another smile to his face.</p><p>She was dressed, her hair pulled back in a ponytail, ready for a run. She looked at him briefly, then looked away.</p><p>She stuffed some toast into her mouth and gestured at the coffee before leaving.</p><p>It hurt to see her just walk away, he could admit that to himself, even if he wouldn't say that to her.</p><p>What could he say to her to get her to stay? </p><p>
  <em>Did she want more from him?  Did she want more at all?</em>
</p><p>Could he tell her that he's had other lovers, but he never wanted <em> more </em> from any of them?</p><p>
  <em> Until her </em>
</p><p>He sat in the living room, and like Dr. Seaworth had told him, he let his thoughts swirl around his head, trying to pinpoint the exact emotion that was causing his mind to whirl in the first place.</p><p>He thought about her, how his heart clenched inside his chest when he saw her with the knife in her belly; the soft way she laughed before her real, loud, obnoxious laugh took over; her messy hair first thing in the morning, the blond pieces scattered around her head and how he wanted to run his fingers through all of them; how it felt like dying when he'd seen that vision of her mutilated body.</p><p>He shuddered at that memory and pushed it away. Visions and crying trees were no way to keep her with him.</p><p>
  <em> I don't know how to keep her </em>
</p><p>That was it. He wanted her, he wanted <em> more </em> of her, and he didn't want to scare her away, didn't want to say the wrong thing and have her shut him out again.</p><p>His father had prepared him to run the family business, despite Jaime's obvious disinterest, but the man had never taught him how to be with a woman, how to make her happy, how to live with love. His father had loved his mother, and no one else, and he'd never thought to tell any of his children how he had done it.</p><p>He heard the door open, and he smiled at her as she came in, red faced and sweaty. If she noticed him, she didn't say, just headed straight for the shower.</p><p>He had this crazy idea to go into her bathroom and ask her if she wanted to try shower sex, but he smiled to himself and imagined her naked instead.</p><p>He heard the faucet stop, she had not lied about how thin the walls were here, and his heart started to beat as she came out and sat on the couch.</p><p>"Hey."</p><p>She tried to smile, but she couldn't lie, it didn't meet her eyes. </p><p>"Can we talk?"</p><p>She nodded, and he saw the dread on her face.</p><p>"So, last night…"</p><p>"Last night."</p><p>
  <em> He ran his hand over her naked torso, and she flinched as he reached her scar. He leaned over and left feather kisses all along it, and all along her chest as her skin flushed red, and she ran her hands through his hair. </em>
</p><p>He smiled as the memory crashed over him, one of a hundred memories that he wanted to keep forever.</p><p>"I'm OK if you don't want to do that again."</p><p>She sounded so small, and he gaped at her.</p><p>"Are you serious?"</p><p>She winced, her face pinched in pain, and she nodded.</p><p>"I understand. It was nice, but it was a mistake. I get it."</p><p>She stood up, but he quickly grabbed her hand and pulled her back to the couch.</p><p>"I don't think you do."</p><p>She looked at him, and her chin quivered. "Don't do this, please Jaime. Please don't."</p><p>He saw a tear run down her cheek, and he reached up and brushed it away.</p><p>"Don't what?"</p><p>She huffed at him in annoyance. "I'm an adult. You don't have to let me down easy, or tell me we can still be friends or any of that nonsense. It happened, it's over, let's move on."</p><p>She stood up again, and retreated to her room, leaving him with his mouth still hanging open.</p><p>
  <em> What is this bullshit? </em>
</p><p>He stomped to her room and banged on the door.</p><p>She opened the door, and he grabbed her hips and stood on his tiptoes to kiss her.</p><p>"I'm not ready to move on." He said the words low with a growl coming out of his throat.</p><p>She blushed, and he stared at her upper chest as her skin flushed red. He reached under her shirt to unhook her bra as she began untying his sweats.</p><p>"Not even close," he whispered as he kissed her neck again and again.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>We're in the home stretch folks! Just one more chapter, than the epilogue. So exciting!!!</p><p>Upnext: The party</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The party!</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The penultimate chapter is here!</p><p>After this, I've got a short epilogue that will go up later today or tomorrow, and we're done! :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I slept with Jaime."</p><p>Sansa's mouth actually dropped, like a cartoon character. She was speechless for a whole five seconds before jumping out of her chair, squealing, and enthusiastically hugging Brienne.</p><p>"Sansa, people are staring," Brienne said. She could already feel the embarrassed blush crossing over her face.</p><p>"Let them stare, my best friend, finally, finally hooked up with someone."</p><p>To her credit, she said that last sentence softly. Sansa was unreasonably excited, but she still was mindful of her friend's embarrassment.</p><p>"Tell me, tell me everything."</p><p>Brienne did not tell her everything. She did not tell her that Jaime sighed when he entered her, and he looked like he was finally home. Or that she could be loud or quiet, depending on where he touched her. Or how she much liked just touching him, and he loved being touched.</p><p>But still, even without those details, Sansa was making the same face she did when the couple finally got married at the end of their movie night flicks.</p><p>"How long have you been dating? Since he moved in or before?"</p><p>The questions were so innocent, and Sansa meant nothing by them, but they cut Brienne to her core. They weren't dating, they hadn't talked about it because she couldn't bear the idea of him telling her he didn't want to.</p><p>This was enough, she told herself again and again, believing the words less and less each time. But she'd never felt like this for anyone, not ever, and the things he did to her, and the sounds she brought out of him...it was more than enough.</p><p>"I don't think we are," Brienne said the words firmly, trying to evoke a different sort of woman, a woman who would be just fine with that sort of arrangement.</p><p>Sansa's dropped her dopey look immediately. She didn't say anything as this cold look came over her face.</p><p>"Was that his idea?" </p><p>Sansa's normally bright eyes had gone dangerously small, and Brienne was absolutely shocked by her demeanor, but she shouldn't have been. Sansa could be flighty at times, but her family mattered to her the most, and she'd already made it clear that Brienne was family.</p><p>Brienne shook her head. "It just hasn't come up. We haven't talked about that." She wanted to add a yet, but she couldn't; she couldn't lie to her best friend.</p><p>Sansa nodded, looking far away before her face brightened. "Bring him to our housewarming! Let me and Margaery scope him out, see if he's good enough for you."</p><p>Sansa looked so hopeful, like a puppy begging for a walk. </p><p>And Brienne gave in, like she always did. "I'll ask him, but he might not want to."</p><p>Sansa clapped her hands and handed her the invite. </p><p>"Oh he'll be there. If he doesn't want to come, I'll have a word with him."</p><p>She winked at Brienne, who could only nod. He didn't stand a chance.</p><p>***</p><p>After all that worry, Sansa had not been needed.</p><p>Brienne had gone home, seen him in the kitchen, and said "Sansa has invited us to her and Margaery's housewarming next week."</p><p>And he'd nodded. "Cool. Do we bring a gift for that?"</p><p>And Brienne had shook her head. "No gifts, their request."</p><p>And he smiled at her and pulled her into a kiss. "Sounds like fun."</p><p>And that was that.</p><p>And now they're here, at Margaery and Sansa's home, which was really a mansion, there was no other word for it. It was big and beautiful, but as they walked in, it didn't feel cold. </p><p>There were scratches on the bannister from generations of children playing too rough in the stairs. Next to the kitchen was a patch of wall where Brienne could see marks of how tall Margaery and her brothers had been as they grew up. And everywhere on the tour were pictures of the Tyrells through the years, both formal portraits and candid shots of the ancient family.</p><p>
  <em> This was a home, not just a fancy building to show off the family heirlooms.  </em>
</p><p>Before her father died, this is what their house had felt like. And she got a bit choked up thinking about it, but she kept the smile on her face for Sansa.</p><p>Sansa glowed with happiness as she showed them the rooms, and the gardens in the grounds, and Brienne was a bit dizzy from watching her, but of course she was happy here. Sansa was <em> home. </em></p><p>She wanted to reach for Jaime's hand, to feel the hope that maybe they could have this someday too, but she held back. They weren't that kind of couple, they weren't any kind of couple, just friends who had sex and watched movies together. And she loved that, even if she knew she would have to let him go soon before he completely broke her.</p><p>Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a brown haired man rushing over to her, and her heart skipped a beat before she recognized Podrick as he threw his arms around her. She hadn’t expected to see him, but of course Sansa would invite him, they had dated briefly before deciding they were better as friends, and Sansa never discarded her friends.</p><p>"The diner has been miserable without you."</p><p>He smiled, and she laughed, because it had been fairly miserable when she had been there, and it would be tough to imagine the place getting worse.</p><p>She ruffled his hair, and he huffed at her then grabbed her hand. "Jeyne's here too, come on, come say hi."</p><p>She sent a smile to Jaime and let herself be dragged away.</p><p>***</p><p>He watched Bee walk away from him, walk toward a woman who hugged her like that young man did, and he smiled. He hadn't seen her with people before, and they looked at her the same way he did, and it felt right in a weird way, like this is how the world was supposed to be.</p><p>He missed her, even though she was just across the room (<em> it is a really big room), </em> but he didn't have to be jealous. She was <em> his </em> and that was that.</p><p>He felt a small hand grip his arm, and he looked down to see Sansa giving him a stormy look.</p><p>"I have some things to say to you. Now."</p><p>She did not leave room for arguments as she walked away, and he dutifully followed. She went into a study off the main reception area and, yes, he knew he would be safe, Sandor was here too for that purpose, but the glare she gave him sent shivers down his back.</p><p>"Are you using her?"</p><p>Her question was absurd, but her tone was not. She glared at him again, her eyes somehow growing even icier, her mouth pulled into a tight grimace full of anger.</p><p>"No."</p><p>There was a lot more he wanted to tell her, to yell at her about privacy, and about it being their relationship not hers to judge from the outside. But he looked at her hardened face and repeated himself.</p><p>"No."</p><p>"Why does she think so?"</p><p>He felt a small panic build up in his chest, but no, Sansa was wrong. Bee knew what he felt, she did, she did, she did.</p><p>"Did she tell you that?"</p><p>Now, finally, Sansa looked away from him. "Not in so many words, no. But she doesn't know where you stand, so if you're using her, I swear to all the Seven I will make you pay for it."</p><p>He had no doubt, she reminded him of Tyrion when his jovial mask fell down and his ruthless self came out. </p><p>"I wouldn't use her, she's my girlfriend."</p><p>He felt some of his old anger rise up in him, but he didn't give in to it. This was Bee's friend, her best friend, she was only looking out for her.</p><p>"Girlfriend?"</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>She softened at those words, her chilly demeanor gone in an instant. She walked up to him and gently stroked his arm, in the same place she'd grabbed it earlier.</p><p>"Uh, look, I know it's not my place, but you need to hear this," she said, still sounding like Tyrion. "You need to tell her that, because she thinks this is just a fling, that <em> she </em> is just a fling for you."</p><p>Sansa shook her head at him as he felt the blood rush out of his head.</p><p>"Really?"</p><p>She nodded. "Go to her, right now, and tell her before this goes on any longer."</p><p>She let him go and he ran.</p><p>***</p><p>Bee was still standing with her friends, still smiling and chatting with them when inside she was thinking he only wanted sex from her.</p><p>
  <em> You fucking idiot </em>
</p><p>He walked up to her, stood up straight and grabbed her hand, squeezing tightly as he brought it up to his lips for a soft kiss.</p><p>"Bee, can I borrow you for a minute?"</p><p>He smiled at her, and he could see the confusion on her face. </p><p>
  <em> Dammit, she really didn't know. </em>
</p><p>He didn't know the house well, and the tour was a blur, but he remembered the kitchen and the glorious smells coming from it, and he led her there.</p><p>Servants were running all around, coming and going, but he found a quiet corner and he put her in it while he glared at her.</p><p>"You are my girlfriend."</p><p>He did not think about what to say, did not rehearse his words, and they were too harsh, his tone too sharp, but he couldn't care about that.</p><p>He leaned forward and kissed her lightly.</p><p>"You are my girlfriend."</p><p>He looked at her and there were tears in her eyes.</p><p>"Don't tease me Jaime, please don't."</p><p>He saw a tear fall down her face, and he wiped it away.</p><p>"Bee, hear me, please."</p><p>He kissed her again, a deep kiss, and she returned it, and they were silent for a minute before he pulled his head back.</p><p>"Do you want to be my girlfriend?" His voice was so soft, so quiet, and he found himself dreading her answer.</p><p>"Of course," she said, a note of exasperation in her voice. "But …"</p><p>"But what Bee?"</p><p>He leaned into her again, but she gently pushed him back.</p><p>"I know what I look like. I know you've been with other women, and none of them look like me."</p><p>She looked away as her face reddened.</p><p>He knew what she meant, he'd seen some magazines in her mail, magazines that used to feature his family on a regular basis. He still saw Cersei in them now and again, going to some premiere with the new man she was seeing. His dates had been models or actresses Tyrion had introduced him to. </p><p>He grimaced at the memories of those women, how their faces and bodies blended together until they were all just reduced to the bare minimum. With a gun to his head, he couldn't tell you any of their names, not even the ones he'd slept with, and for the first time he was ashamed.</p><p>"They were not like you," he said. She looked away from him. "Yes, I have been with women who are prettier than you." She saw her flinch at his harsh words, but when had the truth ever been kind. </p><p>"I don't say that to hurt you, but I don't think you would like it if I lied to you."</p><p>She looked away, her eyes already sparkling. </p><p>"But not a one of those women would ever do what you did for me," he said, taking a breath for courage. "None of them mean as much to me as you do."</p><p>She looked down and watched her hands while she nervously played with her fingers. He reached for her hand and squeezed; she still wouldn't look at him</p><p>"You charged into that room for a stranger, Bee. My own bodyguard called me a worthless cunt, and he wasn't wrong, and you saved <b>me</b>."</p><p>He brushed aside another tear. </p><p>"You are a goddamn hero, and I am lucky to have you in my life,” he said, smiling to himself as her face reddened. </p><p>“Will you be my girlfriend?"</p><p>Finally, she smiled.</p><p>She cupped his face in her hands. “You are not worthless,” she whispered, and he felt something inside him melt at her words.</p><p>She leaned down to kiss him, and he did not let her go.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Ah, these dummies!</p><p>I think this would be the big problem in their relationship. She is deeply insecure, and even a (nonverbal) neon sign would not be enough to assure her of his affections. And he thinks his actions speak for him, when he actually needs to *tell* her what's he thinking and feeling.</p><p>Thank the Seven for Sansa. :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter 16</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The end!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>One year later</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Brienne adjusted the ring on her finger before she reached for Jaime's hand. He wasn't used to the outdoors, and while hiking in the Godswood Forest wasn't supposed to be strenuous, he'd never been hiking before today, and it was taking a toll.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And this had been his idea, a long weekend in the trails as an engagement present to celebrate both one whole year of art school for her, and one whole year of healing for him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Clegane had offered to come, with a grimace and some muttered curses, but Jaime had freed him for the weekend, although Clegane had insisted they both wear panic buttons and carry solar powered phone chargers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaime huffed and complained all along the trail, and Brienne was mostly good about keeping her laughter to herself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We're almost there," she whispered. She pointed ahead of them, to the top of the trail. He nodded, out of breath, but he kept going, doing his best to keep up with her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He let go of her hand, and she adjusted the ring again. It had been a month now, a month since they had been at Sansa and Margaery's wedding and Jaime had dragged her into the kitchen to ask her to marry him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He'd said he had meant to do it the next day, but he had had the ring for two days now, and he just couldn't wait another minute.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was a beautiful ring, a sapphire in the shape of a heart surrounded by tiny diamonds. It was exactly what she would have picked for herself, and she'd begun crying before she could even say yes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They reached the top of the trail, and Jaime was clutching his side, but smiling too. He nodded at her, still unable to speak.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She looked ahead at the sunset, and pointed to their campsite, and Jaime nearly took off running toward it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She let him go and waited for the tree man, but there was nothing. There had been nothing since the awful day when she'd met him, when she'd saved him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He still had his bad nights, still had trouble sleeping, even nights when he woke up screaming and she wrapped herself around him; occasionally it was her screaming, but he was there for her, and maybe that was forever, and if it was, with Dr. Seaworth's help, they could live with it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She ran after him and helped him set up their tent. It was a warm night, no need for a fire, and they snuggled together while they drifted off to sleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She was dreaming, she knew immediately, but it didn't matter. She was dressed in blue, a dress that fit her perfectly, and she walked toward a tree, a tree with red tears on his face. Jaime was waiting for her, and he grabbed her hand.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>There were no words, but they didn't need them. They kissed under the crying tree, and they were bound together forever, it was so simple and it was everything. She looked at the tree again, and yes, it was still crying, but she thought it was smiling too.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She woke up holding Jaime's hand. He turned to her, not at all like a man just pulled out of sleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I dreamed we were married under a godswood tree."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He tucked her hair behind her ear, and she caught his hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Me too."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was afraid for a second, and so was she. But only for a second. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This is the time, this is the place.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She took a breath and kissed him gently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"This is where I first saw you."</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>That's it!</p><p>I hope you liked reading this fic as much as I loved writing it. It was an adventure.</p><p>And a sincere, heartfelt thank you for all the comments/kudos; every time I got an email about them, my day got just a bit brighter (which given the state of things, is no small feat).</p><p>And one last fun fact: Brienne's engagement ring is based on my (although mine was a peridot because I love green). It was a beautiful ring that my husband picked out by himself, and it was the prettiest thing I owned, until it broke. *sobs*</p><p>Follow me on tumblr, I'm albatrossisland, for more fandom nonsense. And stay safe out there. :D</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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